Why Career Strategies Aren’t Successful in Love

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 05/30/2011

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You’ve achieved great success in your career by being driven, in charge, professional and strong. You’ve developed and implemented strategies, action plans and tactics to reach key goals. Despite your accomplishments, something profound is missing – true love.

Why do the very same qualities and strategies that bring professional success not work in love?

It’s because these qualities and strategies are very masculine. When we spend the majority of our time working, it’s easy to lose touch with our feminine side. Losing touch with our feminine side keeps us from finding love because men find femininity attractive.

Here’s what happens when we apply these masculine traits to our love life and the truths that come from taking a different approach.

In Charge – Being a take charge person at work means managing projects, tasks, people and details. In love, micro-managing or telling your man what to do doesn’t yield positive results.

Truth #1 – Letting your man be his own person results in mutual respect and a healthier relationship.

Decision-Making – Making decisions at work means being able to control many aspects of projects, people and tasks to get to the desired outcome. In love, making decisions for your man and trying to control him and your relationship does not give your desired outcome.

Truth #2 – Accepting your man for who is without trying to change him brings you closer and gives you a meaningful relationship.

Strategy – Strategizing, putting together checklists and to-dos at work means coming from a cerebral approach. In love, strategies, checklists and to-dos don’t help you find or relate to your man.

Truth #3 – Leading with your heart will help you find and relate to your man.

Professional – To be perceived as professionals, we take our work seriously. Sometimes it’s hard to leave our work behind to relax and enjoy the one we’re with. We may even find ourselves slipping into a job interview mode on a date. In love, people are less attracted to serious and more attracted to fun and lightheartedness.

Truth #4 – Have fun, lighten up and you’ll soon attract a better quality man and relationship.

Strong – Being strong at work means showing we can handle anything that comes our way. In love, being strong is perceived as not needing a man because you can do everything yourself.

Truth #5 – While you may be convincing yourself that this is okay, the reality is…having the right man in your life adds much more richness and fulfillment. Showing your vulnerability and letting your guard down leads to love much faster.

How have career strategies affected your love life?

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