Let Intuition Be Your Guide

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 09/06/2011

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Trust your intuition

Intuition is based on feelings we have about people, places, situations and things.  Our intuition is the most powerful decision-making tool when it comes to love.  The answers to matters of the heart reside in our intuition.  While there is a time and place to make decisions with your head, letting your intuition guide you in decisions about love yields the truest answers.  Paying attention and being aware of how and what you’re feeling in the moment helps you listen to your intuition.  This awareness will take you out of your head and into your heart – where your intuition is.

Love can’t be rationalized, analyzed or intellectualized

Love is based on feelings and emotions, and can’t be rationalized, analyzed or intellectualized.  If you’re predominantly left brained, you’ve missed intuitive answers because your mind chatter kept you from being present to what you’re truly feeling in the moment.  Here’s what I mean.  As a left brained person, it took me years to listen to and trust my intuition.  I was very analytical and tended to over think my partner’s behaviors and actions.  If you could see into my mind, you would have seen a thick layer of cobwebs.

Clearing out cobwebs

When I was fed up with having the same unproductive thoughts, the same “what should I do” conversations with friends and the same unwanted results, it was time to clear out my cobwebs.  Old habits die hard, but the more I practiced, the easier it became.  When I became too analytical about my partner and relationship, I paid attention with non-judgmental awareness to how I felt inside.  If something didn’t feel right or if I felt contracted, it was a sign for me to not proceed in that direction.  If it felt right or if I felt expanded, that was sign for me to move down that path.  Clearing out these cobwebs gave space for inner silence and clarity to get in touch with my heart.

Making intuitive decisions

Making intuitive decisions don’t result in “Hindsight is 20/20” because there is no hindsight with intuition.  Making decisions aligned with your intuition feels good – that’s how you’ll know that you’re on the intuitive track.  Develop your intuitive skills by getting in touch with how you feel and listen to your feelings.  Practice more and see better results, feel inner peace and trust in yourself.  As with most things in life, practice makes *almost* perfect.  As a guilty over-thinker who’s reformed her ways in matters of the heart, I hope you join me in listening to and trusting your intuition.

What have you noticed about your love relationships when you’ve been too analytical vs. when you’ve listened to your intuition?

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  • Gina

    I really enjoyed this article – this sounds like me a few years ago. I would ask everyone what I ‘should’ do, while my intuition was screaming loud and clear that this was not the right person for me. I was really disconnected with my feelings and did not trust them at all. Now I know when I feel good about something it is right.

    • Thank you, Gina. Glad that you’re listening to yourself. 🙂 I believe our minds make love more confusing than it needs to be, which is why we ask others what to do instead of trusting ourselves. When we’re able to connect with our intuition, this is where we find the answers to matters of our heart.

  • Vanessa

    Dear Janet,
    I really enjoy your articles and newsletter. You’re a very wise woman! I’m finding that one of my most difficult barriers to overcome when it comes to love is trusting my intuition. Do you have practical tips to get better in touch with your inner wisdom, and learn to distinguish fear-based thoughts from genuine intuition that something isn’t right? I find that my natural optimism and desire to see the best in people can sometimes be at odds with what I later (much later) realize my intuition was telling me, and as a result have stayed in the wrong relationships for too long. I really would like to break this pattern!

    Many thanks,


    • Dear Vanessa, thanks for your kind words. I’m glad you’re enjoying the articles and newsletters. I still have much to learn and have found that listening to my intuition takes awareness and is an ongoing process. Being wrapped up in our thoughts keeps us from listening to our inner wisdom. The present moment is where you access your inner wisdom (intuition). A way to connect with your intuition is to become aware of what’s going on inside your body (i.e. the feelings, emotions and energy) by noticing when something feels uncomfortable or off. Then notice the thoughts that preceded your feelings.

      Fear-based thoughts tend to run on auto-pilot and prevent you from being in the present moment. Pay attention to the thoughts that keep repeating themselves by being present to what comes up. Identify these fearful thoughts, question them and find healthier thoughts that are as true or truer. Here is a good resource to help you question your thoughts http://thework.com/thework.php.

      When you feel any type of stress, discomfort, disappointment, etc., your body will feel contracted. You may feel tense, experience shallow breathing, have a tight neck and shoulders, etc. This is your inner knowing telling you that something isn’t right. When you have this knowing, it’s a sign to not move forward or to wait for more information before making a decision.

      Identify the recurring patterns that have come up in your relationships. For instance, let’s say that in all of your relationships, the behaviors and actions of men haven’t matched up to their words. Reflect back on when the red flags/signs first came up and the thoughts that came up (i.e. excuses you made such as, “He’s just busy with work.”) and how you felt inside (i.e. something doesn’t feel right). As you move forward, instead of going along with your thoughts, respond based on what your body is telling you.

  • Vanessa

    Thank you so much for the thoughtful reply! It’s definitely an ongoing process as you say, but also a rewarding and empowering journey. Keep up the great work!

    • You’re very welcome, Vanessa. Rewarding and empowering are so true! Wishing you great love!

  • annaweltman

    oh ya!! I remember so many times I was FEELING one thing and my brain was CHATTERING AND ANALYSING about a completely opposite thing…trying to get me to turn of or turn away from the intuitive feelings. I heard and felt all the chatter, and I tried to keep it strong and healthy in order to drown out what I really knew and didn’t want to admit!!! I have been told that I overthink and i was offended by those people, but I have witnessed it myself and to my own detriment….so rather than get offended now, i’ll use their feedback as a monitor to help me keep my overthinking tendencies to a minimum, to shut off the chatter, and to relax and sit back, and listen to my feeling side…the side that really KNOWS stuff!!

    • Dear Anna, you are not alone. Most women, me included, have gotten caught up in the chattering and analysing, instead of connecting with our feelings. The opportunity as you’ve learned is to relax and listen to your feelings and let those be your guide. It sounds like you have learned to quiet your mind and be more in touch with your feelings. Well done!

  • uigs

    Nice article. I do have a hard time seperating out intuition from my perhaps dysfunctional thought patterns.

    • Dear Uigs, I’m glad you enjoyed this article. Dysfunctional thought patterns will keep your mind in turmoil and prevent you from being present. This is because when your mind is consumed by negative thoughts, you are spending your time in the past or future. In the present moment is where you are most able to connect with your feelings and intuition.

      Notice with judgment-free awareness when you are thinking dysfunctional thoughts. Just observe these thoughts curiously and without judgment. The more you do this, the more these thoughts will release themselves, leaving more space to be present with your feelings. When you are present with your feelings, you will be able to connnect more with your intuition.

  • uigs

    Thanks Janet, I am working on being more present and see if my intuition guides me better.

    • You’re welcome, Uigs. Glad to know you are practicing being more present. Would love to hear if you’re then able to listen to your intuition more. Take care.

  • connie phakedi

    This article left me speechless. Janet, is it possible to send the guides weekly instead of monthly. ?…. Please

    • I would love to send my guides more frequently, Connie. Hopefully in the future I can do so when my schedule isn’t so busy. I’m sorry about this. In the meantime, I do write and publish blog posts every 2 weeks (on a Tuesday) and you can subscribe to my feed to get them delivered in your in box at http://feeds.feedburner.com/LoveForSuccessfulWomenBlog. Hope you are having a wonderful weekend.

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