Create Your True Love Story

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 10/04/2011

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Naive Love

Finding true love is the central theme of life’s story.  From the time we’re young we long for love, hoping one day it will magically appear and find us.  We learn this from fairy tales where the prince and princess live “happily ever after”.  Our youthful expectations of love are based on one-dimensional characters in made-up stories and carried into adulthood from reading Harlequin Romance novels.

The stories don’t tell us what really happens after “happily ever after”.  And when reality doesn’t match up to fairy tales, the journey to love is challenging, confusing and disappointing.

The Successful Woman’s Struggle

In addition to fairy tale expectations about love, “over-thinking” relationships (honed in school and the workplace) and dragging adolescent relationship beliefs from the past into adulthood, cloud our approach to love.

Our logic-based approach to finding a soul-mate means we rationalize love rather than feel it.  Breaking free from the confines of rational thought and reconnecting with our heart opens the possibility to create a lasting and loving relationship.

A Fresh Solution

Ditch the fairy tales and create your own story of love by relaxing your mind and getting in touch with your heart.  This will move you in the direction of love with greater joy and ease.  A good place to start is by:

Listening to your intuition

The ability to listen to intuition only happens when our mind is quiet.  A key step is to break free from the continuous thoughts that keep you locked in your mind.  Be aware of your unproductive thoughts in a curious, non-judgmental way.  Whenever these thoughts creep in, practice awareness in a curious, non-judgmental way.  The more you practice, the more your mind will begin to relax.

Listen to your feelings and let them guide you.  Relaxing your mind will help you get in touch with your feelings.  Notice how you’re feeling inside when you’re making a decision.  If you feel good about something or feel expanded, it’s a sign to move forward.  If something isn’t feeling right or you feel contracted, it’s a sign to wait or not to move forward.

Uncovering your limiting beliefs

Ask yourself, “What are the thoughts and beliefs that come up repeatedly in all of my love relationships?  Identify the ones that are not supporting you in finding your ideal love relationship.  Then replace them with supportive thoughts that can create and sustain the love you desire.

Taking action from a place of clarity

When it comes to love, clarity comes from your heart.  Identify what’s most important for you to have in a partner and relationship.  Ask yourself, “When my love life is ideal, I am…”  If you find yourself analyzing, categorizing, justifying or defending your responses, this means you’re taking a mind-centered approach.  Clear your mind and let the answers come from your heart.  Once you get crystal clear, you can take inspired action and let love come to you.

Taking radical responsibility

Take radical responsibility and notice how it transforms your love life.  This means looking at the situation, owning your part of it and taking integrity-based action to resolve things in a way that’s in the best interest of your relationship.  Taking radical responsibility brings you a greater level of self confidence, a deeper connection with your partner and empowers you to shape your ideal love life.

You Are the Answer

When practicing these solutions, you’ll find that real life is better than “happily ever after” — it’s deeper, more dimensional and provides opportunities to learn and grow.  You’ll feel more confident, certain and able to create true and lasting love with ease.  If you would like additional support during your journey, Your Guide to Love provides insightful articles, inspirational resources and best practices you can immediately use.

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