My husband, Rory, and I recently had a conversation about common mistakes women tend to make when it comes to love. He has seen women he’s dated and been in relationships with, and his female friends making these six mistakes. Rory is very insightful and I feel compelled to share them with you since I’ve made many of these mistakes. If you can relate to any of these, try these solutions and watch your love life improve.
Mistake #1: Being needy.
Problem: Sends the signal that you’re insecure which is never an attractive quality.
Solution: Be confident and secure within yourself. Confidence is very attractive and takes the pressure off of a man to fulfill your needs. Men will find you more desireable when you are confident and secure with yourself.
Mistake #2: Latching onto a man and being absorbed into his life.
Problem: You lose yourself and your man’s respect.
Solution: Always live your own life. Keep doing activities you enjoy and spend time with your family and friends. Your value goes up When you have a life outside of your relationship. You have more depth, enjoy each other more when you get together, are much more interesting, have better conversations, etc.
Mistake #3: Believing in the fairy tale and waiting for Prince Charming to sweep you off your feet.
Problem: If your standards are unrealistic, you may miss out on a great man.
Solution: Instead of being so picky about the type of person you want, understand that the right person for you may come in a different package. This isn’t about settling. It’s about being open to good available men who may actually be perfect for you.
Problem: Your career can’t fulfill you in the way that a loving relationship can.
Solution: If you’re spending more time on your professional life, treat your love life with the reverence it deserves. Love doesn’t just happen. It takes effort. If love is important to you, do whatever it takes to have your ideal relationship, even if it means leaving your comfort zone to learn how to be successful in love.
Mistake #5: Not being complete without a man and thinking he will complete you.
Problem: You’ll project your own unresolved issues and unmet needs onto your man, which will push him away.
Solution: Complete yourself by resolving your issues and fulfilling your own needs. In doing so, your approach to love will be an “I am enough” abundant mentality vs. an “I need” scarcity mentality. This “I am whole” energy you put out there is irresistible to a man.
Mistake #6: Having sex too soon.
Problem: Men only think of you as a good time and don’t perceive you as relationship material.
Solution: Let a man get to know who you are first before becoming physically intimate with him. This helps him become emotionally vested in you as a person (vs. an object) and lets you see what his motives are. A high-quality man will wait to have sex with you. Men who pressure you to have sex before you’re ready, are not worth your time.
Love can be messy and we tend to learn how to love by trial and error. Be gentle with yourself if you find yourself making these mistakes. Mistakes are opportunities for do-overs. What’s most important is to consistently practice these solutions until they become second nature. Which mistake(s) do you tend to make and how will you begin to turn them around?