How to Differentiate Between a High Quality Man or a Guy Who Will Trash Your Heart

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 12/11/2012

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Be a Woman Who Attracts a High Quality Man

We attract who we are, not what we want. If you want a man who expresses himself openly, is loving, respectful and trusting, you must embody those very same qualities. This means doing the inner work to be an open communicator, and to love, respect and trust yourself. If you don’t embody these qualities, you’ll continue to be disappointed by the men you attract.

Identify the qualities and traits you want in your ideal partner. If these same qualities and traits are missing within yourself, work on improving these areas. As you’re doing the inner work, it’s also important to know how to differentiate between high quality and low quality men.

How to Find a Good Man

Joe Mansfield, a therapist for men, offers guidelines on differentiating between a good man of value or a guy who turns out to trash your heart and possibly your whole life.

Here are a couple of guidelines from Joe

“Enter the relationship slowly. Be genuine, but be curious about his emotional style and his pre-existing emotional relationships. It can easily take up to three months to truly get an accurate picture of a man’s real inner self.”

“Never take a man on as a ‘fixer upper’ project. And by all means, never think that you’ll change his self-defeating ways when you have snagged him. It never works out! If you want to really see a guy clearly, size him up right now as you see him. Ask yourself “If he never changes, is he good enough right now to hold my heart…?”  For more guidelines, visit In Search of a Good Man.

Joe Mansfield has been a therapist for the past 28 years. His main areas of practice have been Couples & Family Therapy and Therapy for Men. Joe has run Men’s Relationship & Communication groups steadily since 1978. He’s provided mentoring and counseling for over one thousand men, focusing primarily on teaching healthier ways to be in relationship with their significant others and children. You can learn more about him at Help for Men.

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