Why You Attract Who You Attract

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 06/04/2013

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Do you tend to attract the same type of men or find yourself in the same relationship with different men? If so, here’s an explanation of why this happens.

The universe brings the right person at the right time based on where you’re at with your level of consciousness and where you need to grow the most. If you still have a lot of issues to work through, the most wonderful man could come along and you still wouldn’t be able to have your ideal relationship with him.

How this shows up

When a woman consistently attracts men who aren’t right for her, she doesn’t realize how her thoughts, behaviors and actions affect who she keeps attracting. She may find herself repeating unhealthy relationship patterns, attracting different men with similar qualities, and experiencing comparable relationship dynamics with different men.

There was a time in my life when I kept attracting men who were not readily available for a relationship or commitment. I never really felt secure even after I dated these men for a while because we didn’t turn into a real relationship. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I attracted this type of men because of my issues with trust and commitment.

Since relationships with many men I liked (and loved) didn’t work out, I didn’t trust myself to choose the right man. Also, commitment to me meant being trapped, which meant giving up my freedom. Once I realized I needed to grow in the areas of trust and commitment, I did the inner work to trust myself and explored ways to keep my sense of freedom while being in a committed relationship. As a result, I met my Mr. Wonderful.

What this means for you

In all of your romantic relationships and the men you’ve dated, you’re the common denominator. When you truly get that you’re the one, you can take responsibility and change your love life for the better.

Identify the shared qualities and traits you tend to attract in men. Then determine how you’ve contributed in unsupportive ways. For instance, if you tend to attract men who don’t communicate openly, how might your thoughts, behaviors and actions be contributing to these closed communications? Is it possible that the way you respond when men try to communicate cause them to shut down? If so, how can you begin responding in a more open and considerate way?

Conscious growth takes time and is well worth it. If you decide to do the inner work, be patient with and kind to yourself. Take a practice makes better approach. Your efforts will pay off and you will soon attract your Mr. Wonderful.

For more dating and relationship support, join Love for Successful Women’s Google Plus Community and get answers to your questions about love. In addition, get resources to create the love you desire.

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