7 Ways to Heal Yourself for Opening Up to Love

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 08/27/2013

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Do you find it difficult to be open to love because of the disappointment and heartache you’ve experienced from online dating and promising relationships not working? If so, you’re not alone. I understand how it can be frustrating to date men you like who end up not feeling the same way about you, or when a relationship is going so well and then suddenly seems to take a turn for the worse. I’ve been there and these experiences have left me doubtful and skeptical at times about ever finding love.

Take a Break from Love

We are sensitive beings and dwelling in resistance is the natural course we take when love doesn’t work out. Resistance can take the form of ruminating about the past, blaming your ex for what went wrong, wondering how to salvage your relationship, alternating between feeling sorry for yourself and beating yourself up, listening to sad love songs and wishing things were different.

If you’re still in resistance, take a break from love. Your inclination may be to put yourself out there again. Hold off on getting back into the dating scene. Don’t be in hurry to jump into a relationship with leftover baggage that’s weighing you down. The energy you give off when attempting to have a love life in this condition will have you attracting men who aren’t right for you and repeating the cycle of unhealthy relationship patterns.

While you’re taking a break from love, work on healing yourself in these 7 healthy ways.

7 Healthy Ways to Heal Yourself

1. Be good to yourself
During this time, it’s especially important to be kind, compassionate and loving towards yourself. You have done your best based on your level of awareness. Treat yourself well by doing things that soothe your mind, body and soul.

2. Do things you love
If you’ve been putting your life on hold, now is the time to pursue your passions, hobbies and activities. Doing so will give your life more meaning and make you a more dimensional, well-rounded woman.

3. Take care of your body
Be mindful of the food and drink you put into your body. Choose foods and drink that give you natural energy and make your body feel good. Get physical whether it’s working out at the gym, hiking in the mountains, swimming in the ocean, etc. Physical activity releases endorphins that help you feel better about yourself.

4. Nourish your mind
Identify all of your thoughts about love, relationships, men and yourself by finishing these statements (love is…, relationships are…, men are…, I am…) with as many responses that come to your mind. Take the negative thoughts and replace them with positive statements that better support you on your journey to love. Every time your usual negative thought comes up, continue replacing them with the positive ones. The ultimate purpose is for the positive thoughts to become your way of thinking.

5. Let go of unhealthy relationship patterns
Reflect on your unhealthy behaviors and actions in your dating life and past relationships. Imagine how they may be perceived by your ideal man. For the ones that are not appealing, do the inner work to transform these areas so that they better support you in attracting your ideal man. Attracting your ideal man and relationship starts with you.

6. See the blessings in disguise
The journey to love is guaranteed to have forks in the road and be challenging. If you can truly get that it’s not what happens that matters, its how you respond and deal with things that matter, you will experience the process of getting to love with more ease. Find the blessings in disguise by believing that everything is happening for your greater good. Look at your experiences as a way to learn and grow, and you’ll find that mistakes and failures lead to true love.

7. Be grateful for the opportunity to create love on your terms
Dates and relationships that don’t work out simply mean there is a different man and relationship better suited for you. Make a fresh start by clearly defining what you want in your ideal partner and relationship. When you are clear, you are better able to focus on what you want instead of getting sidetracked by men and relationships that aren’t right for you. Staying focused helps you create love on your terms.

Love Happens with Ease When You Heal Yourself

Taking the time to heal your heart, mind, body and soul will open you up to love. As you open your heart to love, hope and inspiration will replace doubt and skepticism. The energy you radiate after healing yourself will attract men who are better suited for you. How will you begin healing yourself?

Related Article: How to Overcome the Nostalgia of Lost Love

p.s. If you’re frustrated and tired about not being successful in love, get your free Monthly Guide to Love. You’ll receive insightful articles, inspirational resources and best practices that help you create your ideal love life.

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