How to Cultivate Real Intimacy in Your Relationship

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 06/23/2015

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If you’re feeling lonely in your romantic relationship or disconnected from your partner, chances are, real intimacy is missing.  It’s understandable to want your partner to like and love you.  Yet, when seeking his approval and affection, you may try to be perfect while concealing parts of yourself (i.e. things you try to hide from others, are ashamed of, or quirks you wish didn’t exist).

The paradox about concealing these parts is they help real intimacy develop with your partner.  Intimacy exists when you’re able to be seen for all of who you are – the good, self-perceived bad, and quirks.  When you are known and loved for your true self, you feel a meaningful connection with yourself and partner.

As Alain de Botton says, “Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone – and finding that that’s ok with them.”  In relationships with real intimacy, both are sharing their genuine selves.  To start cultivating the kind of intimacy that lasts, check out these three articles.

3 Must-Read Articles to Cultivate a Deeper Level of Intimacy

“There’s nothing more intimate in life than simply being understood. And understanding someone else.” – Brad Meltzer, The Inner Circle

Why Real Intimacy is the Key To Love

Intimacy is essential to a fulfilling relationship.  With intimacy, you are understood and understand your partner.  Real intimacy comes from being your true self.  When you are seen for who you are – the good and not so good – your partner feels comfortable letting you see his self-perceived flaws.  You experience a deeper connection with him which increases the likelihood for lasting love.  Learn what keeps intimacy away, why sex is never the way to real intimacy, and where intimacy is found.

Lost Intimacy? 11 Steps For Getting It Back

In a society where short attention spans and instant gratification are the norm, people want and expect intimacy to happen quickly. Intimacy takes time and is built on multiple levels — emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, etc. The more connected you are on different levels, the more deeply you and your partner will feel about each other.   If you’ve lost the intimacy in your relationship, learn 11 ways to get it back.

6 Powerful Ways To Keep Intimacy Alive With The One You Love

Most of us have experienced situational intimacy when gazing into our partner’s eyes during sex or over a candlelit dinner. If you’ve experienced those sweet moments, you know how truly fleeting they are — leaving you wanting more. But situational intimacy, alone, does not allow a relationship to thrive. Successfully cultivating daily moments of intimate also reduces the chances for cheating and divorce. And ultimately, intimacy is essential to a happy and healthy marriage. Learn about the deeper meaning of intimacy and ways to cultivate that in your relationship.

This is the kind of intimacy worth having for a lifetime…

“The way you touched my soul without taking off my clothes. The greatest intimacy lies between the nakedness of two minds.” – Unknown

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