5 Secrets to Loving Wholeheartedly

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 04/12/2016

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Wholeheartedly defined: Having or showing no doubt or uncertainty about doing something, supporting someone, etc.

Love is one of the most desired experience every woman longs for.  Yet desire alone doesn’t mean love will follow.  If you have a deep desire for love, yet aren’t able to fully love another or be loved, then you know how hard love can be.

What Happens When Past Wounds Are Carried Into the Present

Love is only hard when you carry wounds from your past into the present.  You end up reliving wounds that show up in these ways – looking for a guy to complete you, thinking you’re not _____________ enough, trying too hard, overthinking things, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and on and on.  All wounds when left unhealed don’t allow for loving another wholeheartedly.

If you find yourself holding back in your relationship or are hesitant to put yourself out there, you’ll want to create the conditions to love wholeheartedly by healing your wounds.

When healing your wounds and then approaching love with these secrets, you’ll be able to love wholeheartedly and completely shift your experience of love for the better.

Five Secrets to Loving Wholeheartedly

Secret #1: Love yourself first

Loving wholeheartedly is only possible when we love ourselves first.  This means accepting and embracing the parts of yourself you tend to hide from others.  This means creating and living a life you love so that you’re not looking for a guy to complete you.

Secret #2: Love without expectations

Expecting things to happen a certain way will keep you from being completely in because you’ll be doing something in order to get something.  Instead, set intentions for what you’d like, then take consistent action and make decisions in favor of what you’d like, and let things unfold naturally.

Secret #3: Love without conditions

Loving wholeheartedly means being open to letting things happen the way they’re meant to.  When trying to control things, you’ll be manipulating situations and others to create the conditions you think should exist for love to happen.  Love happens when you’re ready for love, so focus more on becoming the best version of you.  In doing so, you’ll be better able to let things happen the way they’re meant to.

Secret #4: Love with integrity

Loving with integrity happens when you know your worth.  This means valuing yourself which looks like this – only dating men who treat you well, not letting a guy take advantage of you and your generosity, speaking your truth, and not sacrificing who you are for what you want.  When you love with integrity, you’ll be loving wholeheartedly.

Secret #5: Love in the present

When you’re stressed about something that happened in the past or worried about something that may or may not happen in the future, you can only love halfheartedly.  Love happens and is felt in the present moment.  So when your mind is elsewhere thinking about the past or future, take some deep breaths to bring yourself to the present.  The more time you spend in the present, the more you will love wholeheartedly.

Crossing the Bridge from Halfhearted to Wholehearted Loving

Whether you’re on the halfhearted side or just starting to cross over from halfhearted to wholehearted, here are two things to keep in mind so you can traverse with more ease.

No matter your starting point, be patient and kind to yourself.  Remember, you’re doing the best you can in any given moment based on your past imprint and experienced, where you’re at, and the learning and growth you’re meant to experience.  The fact that you’ve been led to this article shows that you’re on your way to loving wholeheartedly.

Embrace and love the process as much as possible.  The journey to wholehearted loving happens through experimenting, practicing, and redirecting your approach.  There will be times when feelings of discomfort set in.  When that happens, allow yourself to be with those feelings instead of denying or pushing them away.  The more you can be with what is, the more what will be will come to fruition in ways that are better than you could have imagined.

Here’s to loving wholeheartedly!  How can you love with more of your heart?


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