Today’s post is from Nick Bastion, a dating and relationship expert. He shares 5 specific ways to keep your man’s interest and make your relationship last…
How do you keep a man interested and make it so that you’re never stuck wondering what went wrong, what to do, and how to fix it? Do you want your relationship to last forever or at least… until “the end of time?”
Have you seen the movie The Notebook with Ryan Gosling? If you recall the kind of love depicted in that film, while certainly idealized and not exactly in line with what real love looks like, there are elements of “forever” embedded in the film. Remember the narrator who reflected on his love story—the one that consumed him and was his forever love…
This exaggerated but beautifully depicted romance illustrates what you are asking when you say, “How do I keep him interested?”
You want to know he is going to love you for the long-term, that he’s going to be around—not just for now and then leave you for another woman.
So I am going to take you through exactly what you need to stop and start doing to make sure he stays interested!
With such a big emphasis placed on chemistry, it’s easy to underestimate the importance of comfortable. We end up dating and being in relationships with charismatic men who cause us to jump through hoops when we behave and act in ways that aren’t true to who we are.
Intense chemistry kept me from being my true self
When I think back to the intense chemistry I had with certain guys, there were high highs and low lows. Uncertainty, worry, and trying to please were central themes in all of those connections. And since I wasn’t comfortable being my true self, my self-expression was limited. Much of the time, I didn’t share my real thoughts and feelings, and wasn’t comfortable asking for what I really wanted.
At 29 years old, He showed up in my life with his dimpled cheeks, smooth-talking words, and adventurous ways. He was contagious! The crazy chemistry between us led me to sleep with him on our second date, dismiss obvious red flags, imagine we had a serious relationship when it was just a casual connection driven by off-the-charts chemistry.
During our brief time together, I felt excited, but never comfortable. And when things ended, the deep shame I felt around my behaviors and actions seeped in and sat with me for a long time.
If you’ve been swept away like I was, then you know how crazy chemistry with the wrong guy can make you to do things and act in ways that feel uncomfortable and unnatural. To keep yourself from being swept away into the abyss of off-the-charts chemistry that ends in shame, here’s what you can do…
Valentine’s Day has been less than a bouquet of roses and box of chocolates for me. This holiday is over-rated and as a Courtship and Relationship Coach, I should be painting an uplifting picture of Valentine’s Day. But in the interest of keeping it real, here’s how I feel about this manufactured holiday.
When Valentine’s Day was humiliating, embarrassing and a let-down
You know those distinct moments in time where you feel deeply humiliated, embarrassed and let down – the kind where you clearly remember that makes you feel bad about yourself? That was me, on Valentine’s Day, when I was 29, 38 and 43 years old.
At 29, I was infatuated with a guy who led me to believe his feelings were mutual. Blinded by infatuation, I dismissed away these red flags — a fiancée who had recently broken up with him, finding out he was moving when I saw a For Sale sign in front of his house just a month after we met, me flying out to visit him for the weekend at his messy apartment with no food, and me initiating much of the contact.
Even after those red flags and him making less and less effort, I sent him a care package for Valentine’s Day that included a pair of sexy underwear. I felt humiliated and insignificant when there was nothing in return from him… except for a lackluster phone call that left me feeling even more humiliated because I had put myself on a limb even when my inner wisdom was telling me to do otherwise.
At 38, I started dating a great guy at the end of January. He invited me over for Valentine’s Day where he cooked me dinner. It was the sweetest gesture and as we were eating dinner, I felt a gush of blood soak my pants and his chair. To my horror and embarrassment, Aunt Flo decided to join us on that special day.