Having Healthy Boundaries Without Becoming Controlling

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 04/04/2017

If you’ve bought into the myth of unconditional love, you may be against having boundaries. Or if you want to be seen as the cool girl whose easy going and doesn’t rock the boat, you may be uncomfortable enforcing boundaries.

Most of us tend to learn about having and enforcing boundaries through the trial and error approach to love. We go through a lot of pain, heartache and disappointment before understanding why boundaries are essential to a healthy love life.

Having healthy boundaries increases the likelihood for a healthy relationship. Yet many women are hesitant to enforce them because they think they’re going to come across as controlling.

In this video, I explain how you can enforce your boundaries without being controlling. And if you liked that video, you’ll want to read this article for a deeper dive into how to have healthy boundaries without becoming too controlling.

Related Article: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Around Giving

What is one boundary you can enforce that will make a positive difference in your love life?

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How to Keep a Man Interested in You and Make Your Relationship Last

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 03/21/2017

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Today’s post is from Nick Bastion, a dating and relationship expert. He shares 5 specific ways to keep your man’s interest and make your relationship last…

How do you keep a man interested and make it so that you’re never stuck wondering what went wrong, what to do, and how to fix it? Do you want your relationship to last forever or at least… until “the end of time?”

Have you seen the movie The Notebook with Ryan Gosling? If you recall the kind of love depicted in that film, while certainly idealized and not exactly in line with what real love looks like, there are elements of “forever” embedded in the film. Remember the narrator who reflected on his love story—the one that consumed him and was his forever love…

This exaggerated but beautifully depicted romance illustrates what you are asking when you say, “How do I keep him interested?”

You want to know he is going to love you for the long-term, that he’s going to be around—not just for now and then leave you for another woman.

So I am going to take you through exactly what you need to stop and start doing to make sure he stays interested!

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Does Being Comfortable or Chemistry Matter More?

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 03/07/2017

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With such a big emphasis placed on chemistry, it’s easy to underestimate the importance of comfortable.  We end up dating and being in relationships with charismatic men who cause us to jump through hoops when we behave and act in ways that aren’t true to who we are.

Intense chemistry kept me from being my true self

When I think back to the intense chemistry I had with certain guys, there were high highs and low lows.  Uncertainty, worry, and trying to please were central themes in all of those connections.  And since I wasn’t comfortable being my true self, my self-expression was limited.  Much of the time, I didn’t share my real thoughts and feelings, and wasn’t comfortable asking for what I really wanted.

At 29 years old, He showed up in my life with his dimpled cheeks, smooth-talking words, and adventurous ways.  He was contagious!  The crazy chemistry between us led me to sleep with him on our second date, dismiss obvious red flags, imagine we had a serious relationship when it was just a casual connection driven by off-the-charts chemistry.

During our brief time together, I felt excited, but never comfortable.  And when things ended, the deep shame I felt around my behaviors and actions seeped in and sat with me for a long time.

If you’ve been swept away like I was, then you know how crazy chemistry with the wrong guy can make you to do things and act in ways that feel uncomfortable and unnatural.  To keep yourself from being swept away into the abyss of off-the-charts chemistry that ends in shame, here’s what you can do…

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Valentine’s Day: A Contrarian Perspective

February 11, 2017
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Valentine’s Day has been less than a bouquet of roses and box of chocolates for me.  This holiday is over-rated and as a Courtship and Relationship Coach, I should be painting an uplifting picture of Valentine’s Day.  But in the interest of keeping it real, here’s how I feel about this manufactured holiday. When Valentine’s […]

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How My Bruised Ego Kept Me from Being Vulnerable

January 10, 2017
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I was 38 and really liked the guy I was dating.  3 months into our relationship, he said, “I’d like to date other women, but still see you.”  Because I liked him a lot, the thought of being one of many women was hurtful.  My defenses caused me to say something like, “I’m sorry, that’s […]

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Do You Feel Like Time is Running Out to Find Love?

December 13, 2016

When you feel like time is running out to find love, or when you’re getting older and want to find a great man to be in a committed relationship with, learn why staying on track and being honest are the best things you can do. That’s just one of many insights I share in the […]

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You Are Stronger Than You Think

November 21, 2016

When life and love are challenging, it’s understandable to shrink back and stay stuck. Yet shrinking back continues the cycle of the same guys and relationships that aren’t right for us.  I know what it’s like to shrink and also know what it’s like to thrive when we let courage lead us. As appreciation for being […]

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Did I Make a Mistake by Letting Him Go?

October 25, 2016
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That was the question I struggled with for months after our breakup in the Spring of 2001.  After 5 long years, the stress was too much and I finally broke things off.  There were red flags early on in our relationship, but I looked the other way because I was in my early 30s and […]

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Radio Silence – Is He Losing Interest Between Dates?

October 11, 2016
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Today’s post is from Nick Bastion, a dating and relationship expert. He shares 3 solid signs that reveal if a guy is losing interest… So you have gone on a date with a guy, things seem to have gone well. You’re excited about the possibilities you imagine can happen if you end up taking things to […]

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How to Respond in the Different Stages of Love

September 27, 2016
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Many women who feel like they’re putting in a lot of effort into their love life and not getting the love they desire are at the crossroads of exhaustion and uncertainty – exhausted at the thought of continuing to put in more effort and feeling uncertain about how to proceed. Putting in a lot of […]

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