The One Question You Need to Ask to Know if You Should Leave Immediately

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 11/07/2017

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When first meeting a guy who is charming and good-looking, it’s understandable to want things to work out, especially if you’ve been meeting the wrong men, have been in relationships that go nowhere, or are going through a dry spell in love.

The more you want things to work out, the less you’ll see things clearly.  Instead, like most women, you’ll see things for what you want them to be.  Here’s what I mean…

How we see things for what we want them to be

Good-looking guys who are charming and intend to only have a physical relationship with you (a.k.a. sex), are smooth-talking and make the right moves to get you into bed.  When you meet that guy and you want things to work out, you’ll believe his words even if his actions are contradictory.

You’ll spend a lot of time wondering why he’s behaving in certain ways, trying to figure out how he feels about you, and what you can do to make him want you more.  You’ll want so much to be together when you sense him pulling back.

You’ll question what you should do, when the answer is staring you in the face.

That all describes me when I was swept away by three different guys – they were all charming, attractive, and wolves in sheep’s clothing.  Since I was swept away by intense chemistry, I rationalized away bad behaviors and red flags.

But had I asked this one important question, the answer would have been, “Leave immediately”.

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Where is He Already?

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 10/24/2017

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During my dating spree into my late 30s, I dated many good men and found myself in a short-lived relationship with a man that could have been “the one”.  The only problem was after 3 months, he wanted to continue seeing me while dating other women.  THAT was a deal breaker for me.

I began to think, “Maybe I’m not meant for lasting love… maybe the kind of meaningful love I desire just isn’t possible…”.  After all, my 5-year relationship with the guy I thought I’d marry ended when I was 35 years old… even after doing all I could to try and make things work.

Two harsh truths learned from my quest for love

The next 5 years led me on a quest for love… from blind dates to dating sites, to reading books on men and love, to doing things like dressing a certain way and flirting… all of those things didn’t moved me closer to “the one”.

It wasn’t until I turned 40 that I realized my approach of trying hard to find love was actually keeping love further away.  Here are the two truths I’ve experienced.

  • The first truth is, when we’re trying hard to find love, we’re doing that from the space of something is missing. And when something is missing, the kind of guys who show up are missing the very qualities and traits essential to build meaningful and lasting love.  That’s how you end up with guys who don’t pursue and cherish you, and that’s how you end up in relationships that go nowhere.

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Giving Too Much in Your Relationship?

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 10/10/2017

Are you paying for a lot of dates and going along with whatever your man wants?  Are you giving him gifts or doing too much to make things easier for him?

If you’re like a lot of women, you may be giving too much to a man and in your relationship.  If that isn’t making you feel good about yourself or relationship, it’s time to take a step back to understand why you’re giving.

When giving from a place of wanting to please a man, you may think it will make him happy and like you more.  Instead, if it’s not reciprocated, you’ll feel taken for granted, sacrifice your own happiness, and end up with lower self-esteem.

In the video above, you’ll learn how to give from a place that maintains your self-worth.  And if you have a hard time saying no, you’ll learn how to say no in a more comfortable way.

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The Real Reason to Resolve Issues from Your Past

September 12, 2017
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If love is what you desire, it’s essential to resolve heartache, pain and fears that lingers from the past.  If left unresolved, here’s what happens: We date different guys who bring out in us, the same negative emotions and energy around unresolved issues. We repeat the same unhealthy patterns with guys and in relationships. We […]

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Is Your Monkey Mind Causing You Problems?

September 8, 2017

If you tend to think a lot, then you know how easy it is to get caught up in overanalyzing things.  Before you know it, you may have drawn a painful conclusion that isn’t the truth. As a reformed overthinker, my mind would go into overdrive trying to figure out a guy’s words, behaviors and […]

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Why Problems Are the Solution to the Love You Desire

August 15, 2017
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There’s no doubt that problems can drain us, be frustrating, and cause a lot of uncertainty and stress.  When we don’t deal with our problems, they end up following us around and even chasing us, as if they’re begging for our attention. When faced with a problem, the way we deal with it will either […]

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How to Help a Man to Be Open with You

August 1, 2017
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High-quality men crave and want to feel close to the woman they care about.  And since men weren’t raised to be open and vulnerable, it’s hard for them to share their innermost thoughts and feelings.  Even if they want to, they’re not sure how to do so. Masculine men tend to want to be seen […]

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Why Dating Makes It Hard to Find The One

July 18, 2017
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If you’re like most women who’ve been dating for a while, chances are, you find it disappointing, painful, and perhaps even exhausting.  Dating for most women is a means to the end goal of getting into a committed and lasting relationship.  What many don’t realize is the chances of finding the one from dating are […]

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Having a Hard Time Setting Boundaries Because You Don’t Want to Seem Controlling?

June 27, 2017
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It can be hard to set boundaries when you want to be seen as carefree and easy-going. But every time you find yourself feeling upset, frustrated, disappointed, or any kind of negative emotion, one of your boundaries have been crossed. Not setting boundaries causes us to go along with whatever a man wants, even if […]

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The Myth That Love Will Fall Into Place

June 13, 2017
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From my 20s through mid-30s, my professional life was my main focus.  I worked for well-respected companies, was busy striving, and promoted to positions of greater responsibility.  I earned a good living and was self-sufficient, all the while thinking love would happen. While I dated guys and had relationships with some of them, they never […]

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