Experience Your Journey to Love with Ease and Clarity

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 09/01/2015

Post image for Experience Your Journey to Love with Ease and Clarity

You may be thinking, “I’d like to experience love with ease and clarity.  Who wouldn’t want that?”  Yet what we’d like doesn’t always happen as evidenced by the struggles many women have around love (i.e. thinking they’re running out of time, not believing there are great men out there, having a hard time moving on from their past, etc.)

Perhaps these are some of the same struggles you’re experiencing…and if so, you’ll soon learn an approach that helps you experience your journey to love with more ease and clarity.  But first, here’s an explanation of a common approach that may be causing your journey to be fraught with struggle.

What keeps you from ease and clarity

If you’re like many successful women, you’re used to doing and thinking your way to success in almost all areas of life.  When it comes to your job, doing and thinking has probably led to great results.  This linear and logical approach that works so well in your professional life tends to have the opposite effect in your love life.  Here’s why…

Love isn’t linear and logical.  It’s circular and vague at times.  The linear and logical approach of doing and thinking your way to love brings up insecurities, doubt, uncertainty – this inner turmoil makes you see things for what you imagine them to be.

When doing and thinking your way to love, you’ll be doing one or more of these things.

  • Initiating dates and communication
  • Giving too much and feeling unappreciated or being taken advantage of
  • Overanalyzing his words and actions
  • Talking with friends to figure out your love dilemmas
  • Controlling things to happen the way you want them to
  • Maneuvering things to get your needs met
  • Having a hard time being with what is

Continue Reading…

{ 0 comments }

Get My Blog Posts by Email (Free)

Enter your name and email address below if you'd like to have my blog articles sent by email. Its free, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

5 Reasons to Cultivate Love So That It Blooms Naturally

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 08/18/2015

Post image for 5 Reasons to Cultivate Love So That It Blooms Naturally

Love is like a flower.  Love blooms on its own time when cultivated properly.  While this concept may be easy to understand, its human nature to try and control things in order to have a certain outcome.  There are many more downsides to controlling and more upsides to cultivating.

These examples better illustrate what I mean.

Controlling vs. Cultivating

Controlling gives the illusion that you’re in control, making you think the action you’re taking will cause love to happen.  Controlling is about trying to do and think your way to love.

Cultivating can make it seem like you’re passively waiting for things to happen.  That’s not the case at all.  Cultivating is about who you’re being that causes things to happen.

In Aesop’s Fable of The Tortoise and The Hare, Cultivating is the Tortoise and Controlling is the hare…

Controlling by doing and thinking may seem like the action you’re taking will get you to love faster.  But if you want love to happen more quickly, you’ll make short-term decisions hoping for long-term results, miss red flags, and say “yes” to men, dates, and relationships that aren’t right for you.

Cultivating things may seem like you’re getting off to a slower start because it takes time and patience.  Yet by being patient with the process and letting things happen when they’re supposed to, you’re better able to stay on track and take a more direct route to your vision of love – all because you’re seeing things clearly for what they.

Here’s a driving analogy…

Controlling is getting off of the freeway when traffic is heavy and taking side streets thinking that you’ll get to your destination faster.  Instead, it takes longer to get there because your route is less direct and you’re stopping at stop lights and stop signs.  In the process, you feel more aggravation and stress from maneuvering your way to the destination.

Continue Reading…

{ 0 comments }

Get My Blog Posts by Email (Free)

Enter your name and email address below if you'd like to have my blog articles sent by email. Its free, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Is He Serious About Me or Not?

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 08/04/2015

Post image for Is He Serious About Me or Not?

You should know within 3 months how a guy really feels about you.  If you really like him and he’s into you, you’ll feel secure and calm instead of being up in your head trying to figure out how he feels about you.

When a guy is serious about you, here are 10 things he’ll be doing

  1. Wanting to be with you in his free time
  2. Planning in advance to see you
  3. Making sure you know how he feels about you
  4. Spending time with you outside of the bedroom
  5. Seeing you more than once a week and on the weekends (unless you’re in a long distance relationship)
  6. Introducing you to his family and friends
  7. Communicating in between the times you see each other
  8. Calling you just to say “hi” and hear your voice
  9. Wanting you for himself
  10. Genuinely interested in knowing who you are at a deeper level

Ultimately, when a guy is serious about you, he‘ll woo you.

But what if you were with a guy who gave the impression he was into you, only to find out otherwise?

There’s always a sign that reveals his true intentions – even if it’s subtle.  The trick to seeing it is to be present and aware of what’s really going on instead of getting caught up in the need to have this relationship work out.

Chances are, there were things he said or did that didn’t quite feel right to you.  And if you’re like many women, you believed his words and second guessed his red flag behaviors while anxiously hoping for things to turn into more.

Continue Reading…

{ 0 comments }

Get My Blog Posts by Email (Free)

Enter your name and email address below if you'd like to have my blog articles sent by email. Its free, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Why You Should Never Fall Into an Instant Relationship

July 21, 2015
Thumbnail image for Why You Should Never Fall Into an Instant Relationship

In a society where people couple up and being single can be a stigma, falling into an instant relationship is tempting and easy.  The rush that comes from being in an instant relationship may make you feel flattered.  After all, what’s not to like about a guy who seems to want you?  But when the […]

Read the full article →

What to Do When You Feel Rejected

July 7, 2015
Thumbnail image for What to Do When You Feel Rejected

How Rejection Runs Our Lives Most of us have a fear of rejection.  We’ve been rejected and felt the painful emotions that follow; or we’ve felt badly about rejecting someone.  Either way, rejection feels yucky and holds us back.  It causes us to do things like: Avoiding anything that has to do with the possibility […]

Read the full article →

How to Cultivate Real Intimacy in Your Relationship

June 23, 2015
Thumbnail image for How to Cultivate Real Intimacy in Your Relationship

If you’re feeling lonely in your romantic relationship or disconnected from your partner, chances are, real intimacy is missing.  It’s understandable to want your partner to like and love you.  Yet, when seeking his approval and affection, you may try to be perfect while concealing parts of yourself (i.e. things you try to hide from […]

Read the full article →

12 Things Keeping Us from Opening Our Hearts to Love

June 9, 2015
Thumbnail image for 12 Things Keeping Us from Opening Our Hearts to Love

Women are emotional beings in the best possible way.  If you’re like most women, you feel deeply about the man you’re with and take your romantic relationship seriously.  When you’re having problems or things don’t work out with the one you love, your heart aches and absorbs your pain and emotions. Here is a list […]

Read the full article →

How to Let Your Feelings Guide You to Mr. Right

May 26, 2015
Thumbnail image for How to Let Your Feelings Guide You to Mr. Right

If you’re single and still looking for a man who fits the list of your must-have qualities, here’s why you should let go of this list.  While your mind thinks it knows what you want, the reality is, it doesn’t know what you need to feel completely fulfilled.  Here’s an example of what I mean.  […]

Read the full article →

How to Transcend Heartache

May 12, 2015
Thumbnail image for How to Transcend Heartache

If you have loved, then your heart has suffered deeply from being let down by men and relationships not working out.  The emotional pain, distress, sorrow, grief or anguish from heartache can be debilitating.  And times of darkness can permeate your entire being and make it seem as if things will never get better.  I […]

Read the full article →

Self-Acceptance: The Problem Women Have On Their Journey to Love

April 28, 2015
Thumbnail image for Self-Acceptance: The Problem Women Have On Their Journey to Love

I recently had a wonderful conversation with Michelle D’Avelia, founder of Pushing Beauty.  During our conversation, she shared her thoughts on the biggest problems women have on their journey to love and the mistake she made that was her defining moment. Here’s what Michelle shared… What do you find to be the biggest problem women […]

Read the full article →