The Myth That Love Will Fall Into Place

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 06/13/2017

Post image for The Myth That Love Will Fall Into Place

From my 20s through mid-30s, my professional life was my main focus.  I worked for well-respected companies, was busy striving, and promoted to positions of greater responsibility.  I earned a good living and was self-sufficient, all the while thinking love would happen.

While I dated guys and had relationships with some of them, they never lasted.  I naively thought and assumed love would fall into place.  Instead, my lack of awareness and naiveté would take me on a long and windy path to love.

As a slow learner in love, these realizations never occurred to me until the ripe age of 40.

  • I should have put as much effort into my love life as I did my professional life.
  • My 30s were not the new 20s. My 30s were my 30s… who was I kidding?
  • Love doesn’t just happen — it requires a lot of effort, time and energy.
  • Love happens when I was ready, not when I wanted it.
  • I could have positively influenced the direction and destiny of my love life.

Here’s where my mindset was around love — I remember not feeling like I had much control over love.  I could put myself out there, but had to wait to be chosen.

I’ve since learned otherwise and know we have the power to create the experience of love we desire.

Continue Reading…

{ 0 comments }

Get My Blog Posts by Email (Free)

Enter your name and email address below if you'd like to have my blog articles sent by email. Its free, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

How to Know if He Really Likes You

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 05/23/2017

If you’ve been seeing a man you really like and aren’t sure how he feels about you, what should you do? Or what if you really like a guy, but aren’t sure if he likes you?

In the short video below, you’ll learn specific things to watch for.  You’ll also learn how to ask him if he likes you in a way that lets him respond openly.

That’s just one of the many things I share in the free video series “Let Love In“. You’ll also learn:

  • Why many women seem to have a hard time finding love, and what you can do to simply love.
  • How to know if he is the one for you instead of wasting time on guys who aren’t right for you.
  • What you can do to let love find you, instead of chasing after love or letting things just happen.
  • How you can find love more easily instead of having it be so hard.
  • and much more.

Learn more about letting love in so you can finally move towards the love you desire.

{ 0 comments }

Get My Blog Posts by Email (Free)

Enter your name and email address below if you'd like to have my blog articles sent by email. Its free, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Bigger Boobs Mean a Happier Love Life

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 05/09/2017

Post image for Bigger Boobs Mean a Happier Love Life

That was the story I told myself through my 20s.  Now that I’m older and wiser, I see how my story of “bigger boobs mean a happier love life” negatively affected my body image and experience of love.  My friend and I even talked about getting boob jobs, but then decided not to because of the adverse health risks.  But I digress…

Having small boobs made me feel self-conscious.  I didn’t wear shirts that were revealing, low-cut or tight, and didn’t like the way swimsuits looked on me.  Instead, I wore bottoms that accentuated my slim legs and firm bottom.  And even though I was with guys who said boobs were just excess fat, and there were guys who were “leg men” and “butt men”, I convinced myself that “bigger boobs” were better.

How my story caused me to reject myself

My story cast a shadow on how I showed up with men.  I’m sure they could sense I wasn’t completely comfortable with my body.  And when we’re not comfortable with our body, we aren’t comfortable in our body.  Discomfort looks like this:

  • Wearing certain types of clothes to conceal those parts that make us self-conscious.
  • Not wanting guys to touch us in places we aren’t comfortable with.
  • Overcompensating by getting a boob job and wearing tight, low-cut shirts and dresses.

My story of “bigger boobs mean a happier love life” became “good-looking men like women who have bigger boobs” and also morphed into “women with bigger boobs are more confident”.  In my teens and 20s, my story revealed how little I appreciated and valued my healthy body the way it was.  It revealed my insecurities and made me realize that women with bigger boobs aren’t necessarily more confident.

Continue Reading…

{ 0 comments }

Get My Blog Posts by Email (Free)

Enter your name and email address below if you'd like to have my blog articles sent by email. Its free, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

How 5 Seconds Can Positively Change Your Love Life

April 25, 2017
Thumbnail image for How 5 Seconds Can Positively Change Your Love Life

Have you noticed how easy it is to talk yourself out of doing something that you don’t feel like doing?  Even if it could improve your love life?  If so, you’re just being human. We’ve all talked ourselves out of one or more of these situations. Not putting ourselves on a dating site because we’re […]

Read the full article →

Having Healthy Boundaries Without Becoming Controlling

April 4, 2017

If you’ve bought into the myth of unconditional love, you may be against having boundaries. Or if you want to be seen as the cool girl whose easy going and doesn’t rock the boat, you may be uncomfortable enforcing boundaries. Most of us tend to learn about having and enforcing boundaries through the trial and […]

Read the full article →

How to Keep a Man Interested in You and Make Your Relationship Last

March 21, 2017
Thumbnail image for How to Keep a Man Interested in You and Make Your Relationship Last

Today’s post is from Nick Bastion, a dating and relationship expert. He shares 5 specific ways to keep your man’s interest and make your relationship last… How do you keep a man interested and make it so that you’re never stuck wondering what went wrong, what to do, and how to fix it? Do you […]

Read the full article →

Does Being Comfortable or Chemistry Matter More?

March 7, 2017
Thumbnail image for Does Being Comfortable or Chemistry Matter More?

With such a big emphasis placed on chemistry, it’s easy to underestimate the importance of comfortable.  We end up dating and being in relationships with charismatic men who cause us to jump through hoops when we behave and act in ways that aren’t true to who we are. Intense chemistry kept me from being my true […]

Read the full article →

Valentine’s Day: A Contrarian Perspective

February 11, 2017
Thumbnail image for Valentine’s Day: A Contrarian Perspective

Valentine’s Day has been less than a bouquet of roses and box of chocolates for me.  This holiday is over-rated and as a Courtship and Relationship Coach, I should be painting an uplifting picture of Valentine’s Day.  But in the interest of keeping it real, here’s how I feel about this manufactured holiday. When Valentine’s […]

Read the full article →

How My Bruised Ego Kept Me from Being Vulnerable

January 10, 2017
Thumbnail image for How My Bruised Ego Kept Me from Being Vulnerable

I was 38 and really liked the guy I was dating.  3 months into our relationship, he said, “I’d like to date other women, but still see you.”  Because I liked him a lot, the thought of being one of many women was hurtful.  My defenses caused me to say something like, “I’m sorry, that’s […]

Read the full article →

Do You Feel Like Time is Running Out to Find Love?

December 13, 2016

When you feel like time is running out to find love, or when you’re getting older and want to find a great man to be in a committed relationship with, learn why staying on track and being honest are the best things you can do. That’s just one of many insights I share in the […]

Read the full article →