5 Secrets to Loving Wholeheartedly

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 04/12/2016

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Wholeheartedly defined: Having or showing no doubt or uncertainty about doing something, supporting someone, etc.

Love is one of the most desired experience every woman longs for.  Yet desire alone doesn’t mean love will follow.  If you have a deep desire for love, yet aren’t able to fully love another or be loved, then you know how hard love can be.

What Happens When Past Wounds Are Carried Into the Present

Love is only hard when you carry wounds from your past into the present.  You end up reliving wounds that show up in these ways – looking for a guy to complete you, thinking you’re not _____________ enough, trying too hard, overthinking things, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and on and on.  All wounds when left unhealed don’t allow for loving another wholeheartedly.

If you find yourself holding back in your relationship or are hesitant to put yourself out there, you’ll want to create the conditions to love wholeheartedly by healing your wounds.

When healing your wounds and then approaching love with these secrets, you’ll be able to love wholeheartedly and completely shift your experience of love for the better.

Five Secrets to Loving Wholeheartedly

Secret #1: Love yourself first

Loving wholeheartedly is only possible when we love ourselves first.  This means accepting and embracing the parts of yourself you tend to hide from others.  This means creating and living a life you love so that you’re not looking for a guy to complete you.

Secret #2: Love without expectations

Expecting things to happen a certain way will keep you from being completely in because you’ll be doing something in order to get something.  Instead, set intentions for what you’d like, then take consistent action and make decisions in favor of what you’d like, and let things unfold naturally.

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How to Not Lose Your Self Worth Because of Love

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 03/29/2016

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If you’re like I was, you’ve done things in the name of love that caused you to lose your self-worth.  These things can start in small ways like changing your schedule to accommodate him and spill over into bigger areas like losing a meaningful female friendship because you’re spending every waking moment with him.

Losing yourself in your relationship?  Drifting further away from your girlfriends?  Thinking you’re not good enough?  Or sacrificing your integrity?  If you’ve answered “yes” to any of those questions, then the message in these three articles will help you get back on track to knowing your worth.

What are You Worth?

Getting to the place of knowing your true worth is one of life’s journeys. Settling for less than you deserve, chasing love that isn’t yours, being afraid to speak authentically and being overly concerned with your partner’s thoughts of you are all signs of not knowing your worth.

As a successful woman, I didn’t recognize and honor my full worth until my early 40s. I stayed too long in the wrong relationships and stayed in casual relationships when I really wanted a committed relationship. I made a man my priority when I was just his option. I swallowed my voice when I should have spoken up. I thought I was more worthy if I was in a relationship.

Knowing your worth is a gradual process that only happens with awareness and conscious change.  Answer these questions to learn how you feel and think about yourself.

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From Struggle to Feeling Empowered: My Journey to Love

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 03/15/2016

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There was a time when I felt powerless about my love life — I waited to be chosen or tried hard in subtle and not so subtle ways to get that cute guy’s attention.  Both led me down the path of disappointment, heartache, and wondering if I would find true and lasting love.

In hindsight, the way I was being and what I did didn’t create the ideal conditions for a man to lean in.  I appeared to be indifferent or came across as eager.  While indifference and eagerness seem opposing, the result was the same.  I unknowingly created conditions that caused a guy I really liked to lean away from me.

Whenever we let something happen to us, we’ll always feel powerless

After two breakups with my now husband, I found myself at the intersection of heartache and a sudden realization.  I had let (what I thought was) love happen to me, and it wasn’t the only time.  In past dating experiences and relationships, things just sort of happened.  I never really stopped to think I could actually create the right conditions for love to thrive.

You see…I had a rich history of looking outward and being afraid to share how I really felt because I was more connected with my thoughts and less connected with my feelings.  After two breakups and decades of not being successful in love, I was forced to look inward.

By looking inward and changing myself from the inside, I created the right conditions for higher value men to show up.  But here’s how things were before and what I did…

Struggling with the discomfort of not being where I thought I should be

I wasn’t able to relax about my love life.  From the outside, I appeared to be calm.  But inside, I struggled with the discomfort of not being where I thought I should be.  While I wanted to be seen as lighthearted, my inner turmoil caused me to seem uptight.  The energy from inner turmoil overshadowed my appearance of calmness and weighed me down.  And as you know, being around an uptight person makes you want to run the other way.

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Essential Ways to Draw Love to You

March 1, 2016
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If you’ve been putting forth a lot of effort and are feeling exhausted by your love life, you’ve been swimming upstream against the tide. When swimming upstream, you end up trying so hard to make things happen. And instead of attracting love, you unintentionally push it away. Drawing love towards you feels a lot like […]

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How to Set Healthy Boundaries Around Giving

February 16, 2016
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Giving too much and getting very little in return? Do you tend to give a lot in your relationship and not get the same in return? Are you giving too much as a way to hold onto your man? Is it easier for you to give and harder to receive? If you’re saying yes to […]

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What Not to Do When You Desperately Want Love

February 2, 2016
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Love is the most powerful force that causes us to do desperate things, including acting in cringe-worthy ways that make us regretful. I know this firsthand and at the time when I was doing cringe-worthy things, I didn’t equate it with desperately wanting love. Being desperate about love caused me to not see things clearly. […]

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Why Guys Have Become Lazier in Love

January 19, 2016
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If you’re doing most of the work in your dating life or relationship, and don’t like the way things are progressing, you might think guys have become lazier in love. If this is your experience, it’s helpful to understand how things have become that way. My perspective is many women have unintentionally allowed or enabled […]

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Choose One Word for the New Year

January 5, 2016
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If New Year’s resolutions aren’t for you, and you’d like a way to create your desired life and experience of love, choose one word to focus on this year. The intention for this word is to help you become your best self, guide and shape your year, and ultimately create what really matters. Ease is […]

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9 Things to Give Up for Good

December 22, 2015
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If love is hard, it’s because you’re unintentionally holding onto ways of being or doing that cause pain and suffering. As the New Year approaches, here are 9 things you’ll want to give up in order to make love easier and easeful. 1. Control If you’re used to doing it all, having most things turn […]

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12 Ways to Love

December 8, 2015
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Saying “I love you” and showing your love are two very different things. Love is more than just words. And if you want to show your love, put these 12 ways into practice and you’ll enjoy a happy and healthier relationship. 1. Give the gift of experience In this day and age, people have most […]

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