Dating and Courtship

Does Being Comfortable or Chemistry Matter More?

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 03/07/2017

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With such a big emphasis placed on chemistry, it’s easy to underestimate the importance of comfortable.  We end up dating and being in relationships with charismatic men who cause us to jump through hoops when we behave and act in ways that aren’t true to who we are.

Intense chemistry kept me from being my true self

When I think back to the intense chemistry I had with certain guys, there were high highs and low lows.  Uncertainty, worry, and trying to please were central themes in all of those connections.  And since I wasn’t comfortable being my true self, my self-expression was limited.  Much of the time, I didn’t share my real thoughts and feelings, and wasn’t comfortable asking for what I really wanted.

At 29 years old, He showed up in my life with his dimpled cheeks, smooth-talking words, and adventurous ways.  He was contagious!  The crazy chemistry between us led me to sleep with him on our second date, dismiss obvious red flags, imagine we had a serious relationship when it was just a casual connection driven by off-the-charts chemistry.

During our brief time together, I felt excited, but never comfortable.  And when things ended, the deep shame I felt around my behaviors and actions seeped in and sat with me for a long time.

If you’ve been swept away like I was, then you know how crazy chemistry with the wrong guy can make you to do things and act in ways that feel uncomfortable and unnatural.  To keep yourself from being swept away into the abyss of off-the-charts chemistry that ends in shame, here’s what you can do…

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Reverse the Epidemic in Love with One Shift

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 09/08/2016

There’s an epidemic happening where women are doing most of the work which makes love harder than it needs to be.  If you’ve been making more effort and not getting the love you want, you’re probably feeling discouraged and tired.  Learn how love can actually be simplified and easeful by making this one shift in this video.

Click here for Get out of the Driver’s Seat and Enjoy the Ride.

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Is Sexual Gratification Making You Feel Empty Inside?

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 08/30/2016

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When you want a meaningful connection to lead to an intimate and fulfilling relationship, having sex early on only increases the probability of a hook up relationship. 

If you’re feeling used by guys, lonely, and empty inside, it’s because you’re having sex hoping it will lead to more.  Having sex early on only lets a man connect with you physically.  Having a meaningful connection that leads to a real relationship only happens when both of you are relating and connecting on multiple levels.  This lets him experience who you are beyond sex, where he can see your value.

Because so many women are having casual sex – sex without dating, sex on a first date, and sex too soon – guys can pretty much have sex whenever they want with any willing woman.  If you’re using sex hoping it leads to more, you’ll get less than what you’re hoping for.  Because to the guy you sleep with, you’re just a woman to have sex with.  You’re not the one for a meaningful relationship.

When guys get sex easily without having to put forth effort, women become dispensable.  And when a woman is dispensable, she’s easily replaceable.    

(Note: The message here is for women who want more.  It’s not meant to judge women who want something casual.  If casual is what you want and it’s not making you feel bad, continue with what you’ve been doing.  If not, read on.)

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What To Do if You Want Meaningful and Lasting Love

August 2, 2016
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When it came to dating guys I really liked, it was hard to truly enjoy the process.  I felt this nervous anticipation because I wanted things to work out, over-analyzed things, misread things, wasn’t able to relax, and had a hard time letting things unfold naturally. Sure, there were times when dating was enjoyable.  When […]

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7 Questions to Ask Before Sleeping with Him

June 14, 2016
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At 29, physical chemistry get the best of me and I found myself in bed with a guy on our second date.  For months after, I cringed every time I thought about that.  You see, I wasn’t the type to just jump into the sack on such short notice.  To understand why that happened, you’d […]

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How to Keep Your New Guy’s Interest

May 31, 2016
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Two scenarios with two different outcomes Ever notice how easy it is to catch and keep the wrong guy’s interest?  When a guy likes you in a romantic way and you don’t feel the same, you don’t care what he thinks of you.  While there’s a part of you that may like the attention, you’re […]

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Are You Hooking Up, Hoping You’ll Be the Exception?

November 10, 2015
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If the thought of hooking up seems exciting and empowering, or if you’re hooking up and wanting to be in a committed relationship, my hope is that the message in this post helps you think differently. There’s actually nothing wrong with hooking up… There’s no shortage of guys to hook up with if that’s what […]

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One Super Easy Way to Know a Man’s True Intentions

October 13, 2015
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If you’ve been seeing a guy and things are going well, you might wonder, “Is he wanting something casual?  Is he seeing other women?  Maybe I’m wanting to rush things.., etc., can get in the way of relaxing and letting the answers rise up.  Thoughts like those that swirl around in your head don’t allow for seeing […]

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Is He Serious About Me or Not?

August 4, 2015
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You should know within 3 months how a guy really feels about you.  If you really like him and he’s into you, you’ll feel secure and calm instead of being up in your head trying to figure out how he feels about you. When a guy is serious about you, here are 10 things he’ll […]

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Why You Should Never Fall Into an Instant Relationship

July 21, 2015
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In a society where people couple up and being single can be a stigma, falling into an instant relationship is tempting and easy.  The rush that comes from being in an instant relationship may make you feel flattered.  After all, what’s not to like about a guy who seems to want you?  But when the […]

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