Feminine Energy

How to Help a Man to Be Open with You

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 08/01/2017

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High-quality men crave and want to feel close to the woman they care about.  And since men weren’t raised to be open and vulnerable, it’s hard for them to share their innermost thoughts and feelings.  Even if they want to, they’re not sure how to do so.

Masculine men tend to want to be seen as strong.  Since many women perceive vulnerability as being weak, most men aren’t inclined to bare their souls, nor their true thoughts and feelings.  And when men have tried to open up and be vulnerable, many women haven’t responded positively.

Why a man’s ability to open up depends on you

Helping a man open up has to do with the space you create for him and your own communication style.

  • The space you create is the container where he either feels safe to open up and share or he feels criticized by you. If you believe being vulnerable is courageous, you’ll create a space for him to open up.  If you believe vulnerability is weak, he’ll sense your disapproval when he tries to be open.  Does your body language or attention span give off the impression that you’re too busy to hear him?  Or are you fully present and patient with him?
  • Your own communication style is how you tend to express yourself. For instance, do you communicate clearly, honestly, and compassionately?  Or do you feel like he should know what you want?  In sticky situations, do you tend to get triggered and become too emotional, or are you able to remain levelheaded and respond from that place.  Do you listen to understand?  Or do you listen to defend?

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Essential Ways to Draw Love to You

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 03/01/2016

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If you’ve been putting forth a lot of effort and are feeling exhausted by your love life, you’ve been swimming upstream against the tide. When swimming upstream, you end up trying so hard to make things happen. And instead of attracting love, you unintentionally push it away.

Drawing love towards you feels a lot like swimming with the tide — things flow and are pretty effortless. This approach actually helps you lean back and relax into your feminine essence. And when connected with your feminine essence, you nurture the kind of space that draws love in.

9 Practices to Connect with Your Feminine Essence

Put these 9 practices into your love life and you’ll begin connecting with your feminine essence and drawing love in.

Practice 1: Make peace with your past

The more heartache and pain you’ve experienced from men and relationships not working out, the heavier your heart and soul becomes. The heavy energy that permeates from that space makes it impossible to attract healthy, fulfilling and lasting love.

Release pain and heartache from past connections and relationships by doing the inner work — identify habits and patterns you’ve been repeating that keep you going in circles. Then do the work to straighten out those unsupportive ways of being and doing so that you can move more purposefully in the right direction. By doing so, you won’t carry the residual energy of pain and heartache on dates or into your next relationship.

Practice 2: Respond more, initiate less

Initiating is very much like pursuing, which is a masculine trait. If you’re the one who constantly calls and texts him, ask when you’ll see him again, decide where you’re going on dates, and rush things, you’re pursuing him.

A masculine man wants to pursue you on his time. He needs space to think about you and miss you. If he’s really into you, he won’t let much time pass before contacting you. He’ll call and text you in between dates, make plans in advance to see you, talk about your future together, and introduce you to family and friends.

(Tip: Another form of initiating is constantly turning down his ideas and suggestions, and pushing your agenda. This makes him feel like he’s in a power struggle. When this happens too often, a high quality man won’t stick around. He will seek a woman who doesn’t seem to be as controlling and strong willed.)

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5 Reasons to Cultivate Love So That It Blooms Naturally

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 08/18/2015

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Love is like a flower.  Love blooms on its own time when cultivated properly.  While this concept may be easy to understand, its human nature to try and control things in order to have a certain outcome.  There are many more downsides to controlling and more upsides to cultivating.

These examples better illustrate what I mean.

Controlling vs. Cultivating

Controlling gives the illusion that you’re in control, making you think the action you’re taking will cause love to happen.  Controlling is about trying to do and think your way to love.

Cultivating can make it seem like you’re passively waiting for things to happen.  That’s not the case at all.  Cultivating is about who you’re being that causes things to happen.

In Aesop’s Fable of The Tortoise and The Hare, Cultivating is the Tortoise and Controlling is the hare…

Controlling by doing and thinking may seem like the action you’re taking will get you to love faster.  But if you want love to happen more quickly, you’ll make short-term decisions hoping for long-term results, miss red flags, and say “yes” to men, dates, and relationships that aren’t right for you.

Cultivating things may seem like you’re getting off to a slower start because it takes time and patience.  Yet by being patient with the process and letting things happen when they’re supposed to, you’re better able to stay on track and take a more direct route to your vision of love – all because you’re seeing things clearly for what they.

Here’s a driving analogy…

Controlling is getting off of the freeway when traffic is heavy and taking side streets thinking that you’ll get to your destination faster.  Instead, it takes longer to get there because your route is less direct and you’re stopping at stop lights and stop signs.  In the process, you feel more aggravation and stress from maneuvering your way to the destination.

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How to Let Your Feelings Guide You to Mr. Right

May 26, 2015
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If you’re single and still looking for a man who fits the list of your must-have qualities, here’s why you should let go of this list.  While your mind thinks it knows what you want, the reality is, it doesn’t know what you need to feel completely fulfilled.  Here’s an example of what I mean.  […]

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The Real Reason Smart, Successful Women Are Still Single

February 3, 2015
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Smart successful women have become very adept at being men.  I know this because in my professional life, I dressed like a woman yet acted like a man to be respected and promoted to positions of greater responsibility.  When it came to love, acting like a man left me confused, disappointed and frustrated that I […]

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Highly Successful But Not in Love? Here’s Why and What to Do

September 9, 2014
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Are You a Highly Successful Woman? If you’re a highly successful woman in your career, chances are, you’ve had to influence others, lead teams, develop strategies, implement tactics, manage projects, set schedules, negotiate for more time, control situations or meet deadlines.  This driven approach is about focusing on external conditions by affecting and motivating others. […]

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23 Feminine Qualities That Will Improve Your Love Life

December 17, 2013
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Leave Masculine Traits at Work Are you applying masculine traits that have brought you success in your professional life to your love life? If so, you’re most likely feeling frustrated and confused about not finding the same success in love. Here’s why. If you spend much of your waking hours at work, you most likely […]

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Why You Should Respond and Not Initiate

April 23, 2013
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A smart woman learns to take the initiative in her professional life, like leading and facilitating team members to complete projects on time, calling meetings to discuss strategy and next steps, and managing multiple priorities. The contributions a smart woman makes to the success of her company often leads to promotions of greater responsibility. If […]

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Magnetize the Masculine by Honoring the Feminine

May 29, 2012
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Dear friends, I first met Caroline from her inspiring book, Women Will Save the World.  She graciously shares her perspective on honoring the feminine within. She is uplifting, inspiring and empowering. May you enjoy Caroline’s post as much as I do! Love, Janet “I want women to embrace, love, and honor themselves and to feel […]

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Is Your Hormone Health Holding You Back from Attracting Hot, Lasting Romantic Love?

May 1, 2012
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Becoming a successful woman takes a lot of WORK. For the past decade (give or take), you have been studying hard, working long hours, and showing up ready to impress. You have prioritized your work above everything else, letting your relationships, and even your own health slide. All of this work has been worth it […]

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