Feminine Energy

Essential Ways to Draw Love to You

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 03/01/2016

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If you’ve been putting forth a lot of effort and are feeling exhausted by your love life, you’ve been swimming upstream against the tide. When swimming upstream, you end up trying so hard to make things happen. And instead of attracting love, you unintentionally push it away.

Drawing love towards you feels a lot like swimming with the tide — things flow and are pretty effortless. This approach actually helps you lean back and relax into your feminine essence. And when connected with your feminine essence, you nurture the kind of space that draws love in.

9 Practices to Connect with Your Feminine Essence

Put these 9 practices into your love life and you’ll begin connecting with your feminine essence and drawing love in.

Practice 1: Make peace with your past

The more heartache and pain you’ve experienced from men and relationships not working out, the heavier your heart and soul becomes. The heavy energy that permeates from that space makes it impossible to attract healthy, fulfilling and lasting love.

Release pain and heartache from past connections and relationships by doing the inner work — identify habits and patterns you’ve been repeating that keep you going in circles. Then do the work to straighten out those unsupportive ways of being and doing so that you can move more purposefully in the right direction. By doing so, you won’t carry the residual energy of pain and heartache on dates or into your next relationship.

Practice 2: Respond more, initiate less

Initiating is very much like pursuing, which is a masculine trait. If you’re the one who constantly calls and texts him, ask when you’ll see him again, decide where you’re going on dates, and rush things, you’re pursuing him.

A masculine man wants to pursue you on his time. He needs space to think about you and miss you. If he’s really into you, he won’t let much time pass before contacting you. He’ll call and text you in between dates, make plans in advance to see you, talk about your future together, and introduce you to family and friends.

(Tip: Another form of initiating is constantly turning down his ideas and suggestions, and pushing your agenda. This makes him feel like he’s in a power struggle. When this happens too often, a high quality man won’t stick around. He will seek a woman who doesn’t seem to be as controlling and strong willed.)

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5 Reasons to Cultivate Love So That It Blooms Naturally

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 08/18/2015

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Love is like a flower.  Love blooms on its own time when cultivated properly.  While this concept may be easy to understand, its human nature to try and control things in order to have a certain outcome.  There are many more downsides to controlling and more upsides to cultivating.

These examples better illustrate what I mean.

Controlling vs. Cultivating

Controlling gives the illusion that you’re in control, making you think the action you’re taking will cause love to happen.  Controlling is about trying to do and think your way to love.

Cultivating can make it seem like you’re passively waiting for things to happen.  That’s not the case at all.  Cultivating is about who you’re being that causes things to happen.

In Aesop’s Fable of The Tortoise and The Hare, Cultivating is the Tortoise and Controlling is the hare…

Controlling by doing and thinking may seem like the action you’re taking will get you to love faster.  But if you want love to happen more quickly, you’ll make short-term decisions hoping for long-term results, miss red flags, and say “yes” to men, dates, and relationships that aren’t right for you.

Cultivating things may seem like you’re getting off to a slower start because it takes time and patience.  Yet by being patient with the process and letting things happen when they’re supposed to, you’re better able to stay on track and take a more direct route to your vision of love – all because you’re seeing things clearly for what they.

Here’s a driving analogy…

Controlling is getting off of the freeway when traffic is heavy and taking side streets thinking that you’ll get to your destination faster.  Instead, it takes longer to get there because your route is less direct and you’re stopping at stop lights and stop signs.  In the process, you feel more aggravation and stress from maneuvering your way to the destination.

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How to Let Your Feelings Guide You to Mr. Right

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 05/26/2015

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If you’re single and still looking for a man who fits the list of your must-have qualities, here’s why you should let go of this list.  While your mind thinks it knows what you want, the reality is, it doesn’t know what you need to feel completely fulfilled.  Here’s an example of what I mean.  Have you ever met a guy who meets your criteria but doesn’t touch your heart deeply?  If you have, it’s because your mind was guiding your choice in men.

Your mind thinks it knows what you want – a man who is financially stable, has a good job, drives a newer car, owns a nice home, tall, a full head of hair, in great shape, dresses well, trustworthy, communicates well, etc.  And though the qualities on your list may attract a great man, if you haven’t yet done the inner work to release deeply rooted fears and self-sabotaging beliefs, it will be very difficult to keep him in your life.

Your mind keeps you from knowing what your heart and soul wants and needs to be fulfilled in love.  When you connect with your feelings by noticing the emotions and energy within your body, you will be guided to Mr. Right.

If you’re wondering, “Doesn’t my list help me set standards for the kind of man I want?”  The short answer is having a list and standards don’t go hand in hand.  You could have a list that has nothing to do with the kind of standards you deserve.  For instance, a man who is [list items] good-looking, fun loving, sense of humor, has a great job, owns a house, drives a modern car, is good in bed, won’t necessary produce a man who [standards] appreciates, cherishes and loves you.  You will know these standards by the feelings you get from the way a man treats you.

If a man meets your standards, you will feel this in your body (i.e. things feel right, your body is open and feels at ease, etc.).  Your mind may try to convince you otherwise, and when it does, don’t believe it.

How Lists Tend to Keep You from Mr. Right

Lists are a way of making you inflexible by wanting things to happen a certain way.  Lists are about wanting to control things and give you the false illusion you are in control.

Lists keep you safe because if you are only open to guys who have the qualities on your list, and if a guy you meet doesn’t fit the criteria, you can easily write him off instead of possibly getting hurt.

Lists give you a narrow view and keep you closed off to men who come in many packages.  By sticking to your list, you miss out on the possibility of high quality men who are outside of your peripheral vision.

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The Real Reason Smart, Successful Women Are Still Single

February 3, 2015
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Smart successful women have become very adept at being men.  I know this because in my professional life, I dressed like a woman yet acted like a man to be respected and promoted to positions of greater responsibility.  When it came to love, acting like a man left me confused, disappointed and frustrated that I […]

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Highly Successful But Not in Love? Here’s Why and What to Do

September 9, 2014
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Are You a Highly Successful Woman? If you’re a highly successful woman in your career, chances are, you’ve had to influence others, lead teams, develop strategies, implement tactics, manage projects, set schedules, negotiate for more time, control situations or meet deadlines.  This driven approach is about focusing on external conditions by affecting and motivating others. […]

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23 Feminine Qualities That Will Improve Your Love Life

December 17, 2013
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Leave Masculine Traits at Work Are you applying masculine traits that have brought you success in your professional life to your love life? If so, you’re most likely feeling frustrated and confused about not finding the same success in love. Here’s why. If you spend much of your waking hours at work, you most likely […]

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Why You Should Respond and Not Initiate

April 23, 2013
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A smart woman learns to take the initiative in her professional life, like leading and facilitating team members to complete projects on time, calling meetings to discuss strategy and next steps, and managing multiple priorities. The contributions a smart woman makes to the success of her company often leads to promotions of greater responsibility. If […]

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Magnetize the Masculine by Honoring the Feminine

May 29, 2012
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Dear friends, I first met Caroline from her inspiring book, Women Will Save the World.  She graciously shares her perspective on honoring the feminine within. She is uplifting, inspiring and empowering. May you enjoy Caroline’s post as much as I do! Love, Janet “I want women to embrace, love, and honor themselves and to feel […]

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Is Your Hormone Health Holding You Back from Attracting Hot, Lasting Romantic Love?

May 1, 2012
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Becoming a successful woman takes a lot of WORK. For the past decade (give or take), you have been studying hard, working long hours, and showing up ready to impress. You have prioritized your work above everything else, letting your relationships, and even your own health slide. All of this work has been worth it […]

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Let Your Feminine Energy Lead You to Love

April 10, 2012
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As a smart professional woman, your career success depends on masculine traits (i.e. being driven, assertive, strong, in charge, controlling, etc.). When a woman is competitive with a man, he may admire and respect her in the corporate world. But when it comes to love, a man isn’t looking for a woman to be a […]

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