Self Love

5 Secrets to Loving Wholeheartedly

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 04/12/2016

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Wholeheartedly defined: Having or showing no doubt or uncertainty about doing something, supporting someone, etc.

Love is one of the most desired experience every woman longs for.  Yet desire alone doesn’t mean love will follow.  If you have a deep desire for love, yet aren’t able to fully love another or be loved, then you know how hard love can be.

What Happens When Past Wounds Are Carried Into the Present

Love is only hard when you carry wounds from your past into the present.  You end up reliving wounds that show up in these ways – looking for a guy to complete you, thinking you’re not _____________ enough, trying too hard, overthinking things, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and on and on.  All wounds when left unhealed don’t allow for loving another wholeheartedly.

If you find yourself holding back in your relationship or are hesitant to put yourself out there, you’ll want to create the conditions to love wholeheartedly by healing your wounds.

When healing your wounds and then approaching love with these secrets, you’ll be able to love wholeheartedly and completely shift your experience of love for the better.

Five Secrets to Loving Wholeheartedly

Secret #1: Love yourself first

Loving wholeheartedly is only possible when we love ourselves first.  This means accepting and embracing the parts of yourself you tend to hide from others.  This means creating and living a life you love so that you’re not looking for a guy to complete you.

Secret #2: Love without expectations

Expecting things to happen a certain way will keep you from being completely in because you’ll be doing something in order to get something.  Instead, set intentions for what you’d like, then take consistent action and make decisions in favor of what you’d like, and let things unfold naturally.

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It Started With A Few Dry Patches Of Skin…

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 10/21/2014

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What started out on my face as a few small dry itchy spots earlier this spring progressed into a larger red dry patch to the side of my right eye that has been there since the end of July.  In early October, the skin condition on my face intensified.  My face felt very itchy, red spots appeared on random areas, have dried out and are continuing to peel.  Last week, my eyes began stinging and tearing up.

My journey to find a solution started by seeing a dermatologist.  He diagnosed me with nummular dermatitis and prescribed a hydrocortisone cream to rub onto the dry patches.  He also suggested putting Aquaphor on my entire face after washing it while it was still damp to lock in the moisture.  After months of taking his advice and having the dry patches still there, I began researching my condition only to discover that hydrocortisone cream doesn’t heal dry patches.

Be Your Own Advocate

This made me realize the need to become my own advocate.  In my research, I’ve learned it’s most likely not nummular dermatitis, but a form of eczema that is not curable and can only be managed – that is what western medicine says.  I’ve always leaned more towards the natural holistic approach to health and was even more convinced to take this route after watching Lissa Rankin’s TED Talk The Shocking Truth About Your Health.

I met with a Naturopath to determine the root cause of my eczema.  She asked me in-depth questions to understand my lifestyle, eating habits, environment, work, stresses, etc.  Based on that, she suggested that my cortisol levels are compromising my immune system and causing inflammation in my body.  Our conversation left me feeling hopeful about healing my skin from the inside out.

If doctors have not been able to find a solution to your condition or if your condition continues to persist, become your own advocate.  Becoming your own advocate is a form of self-love.  When you take matters into your own hands by educating yourself on your condition and potential solutions, you have more options to make decisions and choices that are in your best interest.

Slow Down and Show Some Self Love

The past few years, I’ve been working an 8 to 5 full-time job while building my coaching business after hours and on many weekends.  I’m fortunate in that I love both my full-time job and coaching business.  Although my schedule is busy, my husband and I still spend good time together and have a healthy and loving relationship.

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How to Stop Feeding Your Ego and Start Loving Yourself

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 09/23/2014

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“The world will ask you who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you.” – Carl Jung

The definition of ego is a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.  Your ego has been shaped from the moment you were born and starts with conditions outside of yourself.  Ego is the false image you have of yourself based on what you believe yourself to be.  This belief comes from what you were told and how others reacted to you at a young age.

Ego cares more about what other people think of you; it’s when you do things to please others and seek their approval; it’s when you do things in order to appear a certain way.  Ego keeps you from knowing your true self.

What Feeds Your Ego

Ego wants to keep you in your comfort zone, even if your comfort zone isn’t healthy or good for you.  Comfort zones are about feeling safe, secure and comfortable.  Anything that challenges your comfort zone (i.e. change, fear of the unknown) will cause you to hold on tightly to the familiar.

And when you don’t know who you truly are, others opinions of you and the outside world will feed your ego.  You can stop feeding your ego by learning and knowing who you are, and loving your true self.

How to Start Loving Your True Self

“The need to prove who you are will vanish once you know who you are.” – Danielle Pierre

Letting your ego go takes courage and requires stretching your comfort zone, being with the unknown, and letting what’s supposed to happen, happen.  Here are 3 ways to stop feeding your ego so that you can start loving yourself.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparing yourself to others is a no win situation.  You will end up feeling bad about yourself because there will always be someone prettier, in better shape, smarter and richer.  And if you compare yourself to the glossy, airbrushed images of women in magazines, you compare yourself to people who don’t really exist.

Instead, focus on emphasizing your best features, getting into your best shape, learning about things that interest you and becoming financially secure.

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32 Days to Love Yourself More

August 12, 2014
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I believe we are born with self-love and learn to be critical and judgmental about ourselves at a young age.  If you are having critical and judgmental thoughts about yourself, you aren’t yet loving yourself completely.  Since the relationship you have with yourself directly affects your relationship with others, learning to love yourself is the […]

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Are You Exhausted by Love? Learn How to Relax Your Tired Mind and Heart

July 1, 2014
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Women are amazing, capable and strong.  They can achieve virtually anything when harnessing their minds and hearts.  They strive to be successful in their career, to raise wonderful children, to be the perfect friend, to be there for family, and to find the perfect love.  If you relate to these women, then you understand that […]

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Why Being Alone is Essential: 6 Ways to Enjoy Being Alone

December 3, 2013
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“Not knowing how to feed the spirit, we try to muffle its demands in distraction…What matters is that one be for a time inwardly attentive.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea As a woman, you were probably taught or conditioned to put other people’s needs before your own. If you think that it’s selfish […]

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10 Reasons to Love Yourself Completely

September 24, 2013
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Love Starts Within When you love yourself first and see the world, life and love through eyes of love, everything changes. Love becomes less arduous and more harmonious. If you’re dating, you attract men who are happy and whole. If you’re in a long-term relationship, you’re able to embrace your partner’s quirks, be more compassionate […]

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How to Love Yourself More on Valentine’s Day and Everyday

February 12, 2013
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“Don’t rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, experience yourself and love yourself. Do this first and you will soon attract that special loving other.” – Russ von Hoelscher Valentine’s Day is overrated Valentine’s Day is overrated and if it were up to me, I would change this day to Self […]

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Be Your Valentine

February 14, 2012
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Unwrap the deeper meaning of Valentine’s Day and give yourself the gift of love. Dear Successful Woman, The true meaning of Valentine’s Day goes beyond commercials and expectations of gifts, flowers, chocolates and jewelry. If we look beyond the commercialization, we find that Valentine’s Day holds a deeper meaning. Love and Accept Yourself Completely Our society places much […]

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Love Starts Within

December 13, 2011
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“Self love is the only way to a deeper and fulfilling love life. The quality of men and love relationships we’ve experienced is directly related to the way we love ourselves. Most of us only love the good sides of ourselves and wish we could disown the self-perceived bad sides. If you only love parts of yourself, you’ll […]

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