Have you been on great dates or in a promising relationship only to have a guy pull away? If so, it can be confusing when things seem to be going well and then he becomes distant. I’ve been there and in hindsight, realized that rushing things, being too passive, and being jaded and skeptical pushed some good men away.
Here are three common things a woman does that cause good men to pull away.
1. Are you rushing things?
It may seem counterintuitive to take your time when things are promising, especially when you have great chemistry with a guy. When rushing things, having sex and sharing too much information happens quickly. Connections are based more on oxytocin instead of on multiple levels (i.e. mental, emotional, physical, etc.). Oxytocin will cause you to lust after a guy and feel infatuated with him. Many women, including myself, have mistaken feelings of lust and infatuation for something more instead of seeing things for what they were.
Here’s how to know if you’re rushing things. You are rushing things if you are letting him rush you into sex, take your online dating profile down after the first few dates and expect him to do the same, initiating contact much more than he does, giving too much, overlooking your wants and needs in order to please him, trying to get him to commit to you soon after you meet, or imagining your future together without really knowing who he truly is.
Trying to move things forward before its time will cause you to do cringe-worthy things like stalk him, overlook and rationalize red flags, and become insecure. Rushing things, even if you’re deeply attracted to each other, tends to have an adverse effect and ends up pushing him away. This is because rushing things makes you seem desperate which is never attractive to high quality men.
Why it’s best to let things happen naturally
Reflect on how you typically approach men and how they tend to react. If most men you’ve dated and been in relationships with have pulled away, you may be moving too fast and putting unnecessary pressure on yourself and him. If you’re moving too fast early on in your dating and relationship, you will be using more masculine qualities (i.e. trying to control and steer things).