What Men Think

Radio Silence – Is He Losing Interest Between Dates?

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 10/11/2016

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Today’s post is from Nick Bastion, a dating and relationship expert. He shares 3 solid signs that reveal if a guy is losing interest…

So you have gone on a date with a guy, things seem to have gone well. You’re excited about the possibilities you imagine can happen if you end up taking things to the next level. You might even see a real possibility of having a future with him, of things really working out.

Except, after the last date you went on, the way he is communicating (well, actually, the way he is not communicating) is making you wonder if he is losing interest in you or not.

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Why Guys Have Become Lazier in Love

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 01/19/2016

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If you’re doing most of the work in your dating life or relationship, and don’t like the way things are progressing, you might think guys have become lazier in love. If this is your experience, it’s helpful to understand how things have become that way. My perspective is many women have unintentionally allowed or enabled them to become that way. But here’s the good news…it also means women can reverse this by not allowing or enabling guys.

When you’re the one initiating contact, making dates and plans, making arrangements for both your social calendars, you’re essentially doing many things your guy should be doing. And this makes it easy for him to not have to do much which can make you feel unappreciated, taken advantage of, and eventually resentful.

It’s not completely their fault

Ever since women’s liberation has given us financial stability and control in virtually all areas of life, some women have taken things to an extreme, and in the process, devalued the very qualities that should be valued in men. These qualities include letting men pursue and initiate on their own time, being the leader in the relationship, being chivalrous, etc.

Many women send the message that they don’t need a man, even though under their bravado is a secret desire to find a good man. When men get this message, many feel discouraged and uncertain because of the way things have progressed. And as a woman, instead of feeling disappointed or angry, could you feel compassionate instead…?

It’s got to be difficult not knowing how best to pursue and initiate with a woman when she’s the one pursuing and initiating. It must be demoralizing trying to be the leader in a relationship when a woman is trying to control things or constantly changing plans. And wanting to open doors for a woman when she opens them herself can’t be an enjoyable experience.

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Women Who Do These Three Things Are More Likely to Cause Good Men to Pull Away

by Janet Ong Zimmerman on 08/26/2014

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Have you been on great dates or in a promising relationship only to have a guy pull away?  If so, it can be confusing when things seem to be going well and then he becomes distant.  I’ve been there and in hindsight, realized that rushing things, being too passive, and being jaded and skeptical pushed some good men away.

Here are three common things a woman does that cause good men to pull away.

1. Are you rushing things?

It may seem counterintuitive to take your time when things are promising, especially when you have great chemistry with a guy.  When rushing things, having sex and sharing too much information happens quickly.  Connections are based more on oxytocin instead of on multiple levels (i.e. mental, emotional, physical, etc.).  Oxytocin will cause you to lust after a guy and feel infatuated with him.  Many women, including myself, have mistaken feelings of lust and infatuation for something more instead of seeing things for what they were.

Here’s how to know if you’re rushing things.  You are rushing things if you are letting him rush you into sex, take your online dating profile down after the first few dates and expect him to do the same, initiating contact much more than he does, giving too much, overlooking your wants and needs in order to please him, trying to get him to commit to you soon after you meet, or imagining your future together without really knowing who he truly is.

Trying to move things forward before its time will cause you to do cringe-worthy things like stalk him, overlook and rationalize red flags, and become insecure.  Rushing things, even if you’re deeply attracted to each other, tends to have an adverse effect and ends up pushing him away.  This is because rushing things makes you seem desperate which is never attractive to high quality men.

Why it’s best to let things happen naturally

Reflect on how you typically approach men and how they tend to react.  If most men you’ve dated and been in relationships with have pulled away, you may be moving too fast and putting unnecessary pressure on yourself and him.  If you’re moving too fast early on in your dating and relationship, you will be using more masculine qualities (i.e. trying to control and steer things).

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How to Keep Your Man from Cheating on You

April 22, 2014
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Dear friends, Michael and I are co-authors of the international best seller Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life. I’m excited to share a wonderful post from him about a valid subject that many women have experienced or may worry about. His perspective will give you insight that may help you know what to do and ease your […]

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What Every Woman Should Know About Men Who Pretend to be Harmless

June 18, 2013
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Most women have dated or been in a relationship with a man who seems too good to be true. This man says the right things, makes grand gestures, may disappear only to return weeks later, and creates the illusion that you are special to him. Appearances are deceiving, and this man is like a wolf […]

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6 Qualities That Catch a Man’s Heart

May 21, 2013
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“Your appearance catches a man’s eyes, but who you are catches his heart.” – Janet Ong Zimmerman What Turns a Man’s Head Doesn’t Catch His Heart Men are built to appreciate and look at attractive women. When a man’s head turns every time an attractive woman walks by, you might think that physical appearance is […]

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The Problem That Continues to Plague Women

March 26, 2013
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Ever been with a guy who says he doesn’t want a girlfriend, but acts like your boyfriend? If so, you’ve probably been confused by his mixed signals and wondered, “Why doesn’t he want me to be his girlfriend when we enjoy each other’s company and spend so much time together?” The answer is he has […]

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Three Things a Woman Should Stop and Start Doing in Love

January 15, 2013
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“Approach love from love, not fear.  If you take the loving approach, you’ll create an intimate space where you and your partner are connected at a deeper level.” – Janet Ong Zimmerman  A woman approaches love from fear when she does things that push good men away.  There were times in my love life when […]

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How to Differentiate Between a High Quality Man or a Guy Who Will Trash Your Heart

December 11, 2012
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Be a Woman Who Attracts a High Quality Man We attract who we are, not what we want. If you want a man who expresses himself openly, is loving, respectful and trusting, you must embody those very same qualities. This means doing the inner work to be an open communicator, and to love, respect and […]

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Why It’s Hard for Your Man to Express His Feelings

November 13, 2012
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Continue Doing the Inner Work As mentioned in my Understanding Men post, we’ve focused on doing the inner work to create your ideal love life. While I believe this is the most important and direct way to true love, understanding men gives you additional insight and perspective. You’re the common denominator in your love life. […]

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