Practical wisdom about dating, courtship, and relationships to improve your love life.
Good Things Come to Those Who Wait
You’ve probably heard the old adage, “Good things come to those who wait.” When you actively wait to see how things unfold instead of pushing things to happen, good things tend to come your way. Things will either work out with the guy you’re dating or you’ll learn early on that he isn’t the one for you, instead of spending too much time trying to force something that isn’t mean to be.
How to Let Things Unfold Naturally
Be mindful of who you’re being and how you feel about yourself. When things are unfolding naturally and progressing into a promising relationship, you'll behave and act in ways that leave your self esteem intact. You'll feel more good than bad about yourself. You'll be able to learn if the guy you’re dating is relationship material when you:
1. Date multiple men at the same time
If you’re like some women, you might feel guilty about dating many men at the same time. It's fine to date multiple guys at the same time if they understand the nature of your dating relationship and are on the same page. This applies even if you want an exclusive relationship with the guy you really like and you both haven’t agreed to be exclusive. Dating others will keep you from obsessing over the guy you really like. Dating others isn’t about playing games; it’s about valuing yourself so that you don’t find yourself with a guy who acts like your boyfriend, but isn’t your boyfriend. It will also help him decide whether or not he wants to stop dating others and see only you.
2. Learn about each other
Getting to know each other at a deeper level lets you understand if you’re truly compatible for the long run. Take the time to learn about his values, communication style, interests, how he views his job, how he sees life and the world, how close (or not) he is to his family, what his friends are like, etc. A healthy relationship is built on more than sexual chemistry. It's also about chemistry at the mind, spiritual and soul level.
3. Respond instead of initiate
When you really like a guy, it’s understandable to initiate contact or even pursue him. Taking this approach tends to leave you wondering if he is really interested in you as a person or just interested in hanging out and hooking up. Stop yourself the next time (and the next time) you start to initiate or pursue. Instead, wait for him to contact you and respond accordingly. This lets you see how interested he really is. Ultimately, you want a guy to be with you because he really wants to, not because he hasn’t found someone better.
4. Listen to your intuition
When it comes to love, listening to your intuition more than your obsessive thoughts will lead you in the right direction. When obsessive thoughts get in the way, it’s hard to see things clearly. And if you’re not sure what to do, you might ask friends and family for their advice. No one else has the answers to your love life. Other people’s advice is based on their experience and who they are. You have the answers. Disengage from your mind and connect with your heart to listen to your intuition. Intuition isn’t something that is rationalized. Intuition has to do with your feelings and emotions. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it (and vice-versa).
5. Be with what is
Your future is built on what you do in the present moment. Being with what is (living in the present) instead of wishing things were different (living in the past) is immensely beneficial for multiple reasons — you’re better able to focus energy and effort on what you desire instead of wasting energy over something that you can’t change; you accept, learn and grow from difficult situations more quickly; you’re able to navigate your dating life with more ease. And the energy you give off from being with what is is much more attractive than when you’re struggling with how you think things should be.
Set the Pace
Set the pace of how things progress base on your comfort level. Don’t be rushed by a guy into having sex too soon (or into a relationship) if it doesn’t feel comfortable and right to you. When you set the pace, you are moving at your natural rhythm and coming from a place of self worth. If you’re meant to be in an exclusive relationship with the guy you’re dating, you will be with him. Remember, good things come to those who wait. :) What are other ways to let things unfold naturally?
Related Article: Why You Shouldn't Rush Into a Relationship, Even if You Really Like Him
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Copyright Love for Successful Women, 2020.