Practical wisdom about dating, courtship, and relationships to improve your love life.
Today’s post is from Nick Bastion, a dating and relationship expert. He shares 5 specific ways to keep your man's interest and make your relationship last…
How do you keep a man interested and make it so that you’re never stuck wondering what went wrong, what to do, and how to fix it? Do you want your relationship to last forever or at least… until “the end of time?”
Have you seen the movie The Notebook with Ryan Gosling? If you recall the kind of love depicted in that film, while certainly idealized and not exactly in line with what real love looks like, there are elements of “forever” embedded in the film. Remember the narrator who reflected on his love story—the one that consumed him and was his forever love...
This exaggerated but beautifully depicted romance illustrates what you are asking when you say, “How do I keep him interested?”
You want to know he is going to love you for the long-term, that he's going to be around—not just for now and then leave you for another woman.
So I am going to take you through exactly what you need to stop and start doing to make sure he stays interested!
How to Make Your Relationship Last
Stop fixating on what you must do to fix things
The “fix” is to go out of your way to make sure that you select someone who is compatible with you. Selection has a lot to do with compatibility. I write more on compatibility in this article.
If you find yourself wondering how to keep him interested, you might be doing things such as cooking dinner, going out of your way to do what he likes, etc. You might think to yourself… “Why is he becoming more disinterested the more I do?”
This is not a coincidence. Doing things to keep him interested and then being upset when it does not work sabotages you.
Give him room to breathe
What does this mean? To sum it up, give your man space, let him go out with his friends and don’t think that him spending time with others is a bad thing. Instead, let him be out and miss you.
If he has genuine feelings for you, he will end up missing you. But you have to give him room to do this.
Lots of men, when crowded, will start losing interest in the relationship quickly. This article covers more on that subject, but suffice it to say that if you let him have his space, he won’t go looking for space later, which could lead him further and further away from the relationship.
Compatibility is key
Selecting a man who is compatible means you choose to be with someone who naturally likes you for who and how you are.
The logistics of your life also need to make sense together. For example, if you want children and he already has 3 and has made it clear he doesn’t want to have anymore kids… well, no matter how much you love each other, this is an impossible situation that won’t work out in the long-term unless someone compromises.
So make sure you think about whether you’re compatible when it comes to these important areas.
Finances (i.e. how you like to spend, save, etc.)
Style of living (i.e. homebody versus going out all the time)
What boundaries do you each define “cheating” as and are these boundaries acceptable to you?
These are just some major things to examine when it comes to assessing if you are compatible or not.
If you find that you are compatible, then you can make him stay interested using some helpful guidelines I’m going to explain.
If you are not compatible, the truth is, your best bet is to move on and find someone you are compatible with. Then you will effortlessly be able to keep that man interested.
You cannot force someone to stay who isn’t genuinely and naturally inclined to want to be with you for the long-term.
Selection is the be-all-end-all when it comes to creating a situation for yourself where he will stay interested in you and not pull away.
Focus on Being Your Best Self
By best self I mean… your mindset, your thoughts and general attitude. It all boils down to mood!
Your mood is going to make you more or less attractive in his eyes; if you are jealous, possessive and complain about how he never does romantic things for you, you will end up turning him off no matter how good you look.
It’s true, even the most attractive woman can become unattractive if she is endlessly complaining and has a negative attitude.
Any man who has any kind of choice (i.e. other women want to date him) is not going to select a woman with a negative attitude. If you want to keep him interested, manage your mood and make your happiness a priority.
If you might have gotten a little bit more relaxed about your personal appearance (just like he probably has – most people do in a long term relationship), you might want to think about putting in more effort. Before you throw tomatoes at me and get upset, please understand one thing: I am not saying this to offend you.
By no means are looks the most important factor when it comes to keeping him interested, as I explained above. Mindset and mood matters more! However, it does not hurt to look extra sexy and put some extra effort into your appearance. This can only help and make him remember how attracted he is to you!
That’s it! The most important thing to remember is as long as you’re compatible with each other, chances are you’ll be able to find a way to make things work. All it takes is a bit of effort and empathy (from both sides), and you can build a lifelong bond of trust, respect, and love that lasts.
About Nick Bastion
Nick Bastion is a dating and relationship expert with over 10 years of experience helping men and women have the love lives they’ve always wanted. You can find more of his writing at www.vixendaily.com.
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Copyright Love for Successful Women, 2020.