Practical wisdom about dating, courtship, and relationships to improve your love life.
Quotes are inspirational, thought-provoking, and cause us to think about the meaning behind the words. Here are some quotes worth sharing along with my perspective on what they mean.
The Courage to Love
“It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell and, giving out nothing, receive nothing and therefore shrink until life is a mere living death.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
Don’t let pain and heartache build walls that make it impossible for love to find you. Pain and heartache come from unmet expectations you have about your partner and relationship. When you don’t get what you expect (i.e. he should love me unconditionally), you will always be let down. And in the let down, is where pulling back takes place. Instead of having expectations of how love should be, set intentions. Intentions allow for more flexibility, ease, and things to happen naturally. Intentions help you be with disappointment, worry, etc., in a way where you stay firmly grounded instead of pulling back.
You Can't Make a Guy Love You
“You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.” - Unknown
Trying hard to get a guy to love you looks like this - you are doing things you think will please him and are not speaking your truth because you’re afraid to upset him. When you try to make a guy love you, you will constantly feel worried and uncertain. And the energy from trying too hard can make you seem desperate. Instead, it’s best to relax and focus on yourself by doing the inner work to become your best self. By being your best self, you increase the probability for him to love you. He will either love you or he won’t. If he doesn’t, it simply means someone else will love you for who you are.
Have Faith in Love
“Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.” - Erich Fromm
Unresolved pain and heartache from love not working out can cause you to be skeptical about ever finding love. If you are skeptical, you’ll be looking for things to go wrong and may have one foot out the door in your relationship. There are no guarantees in love, even in the happiest relationships. Take the energy and time you spend on being skeptical and doubting love and apply it healing yourself from the inside out. When you are healed, your heart will once again open up to love and faith will replace doubt.
Find an Emotionally Available Man
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, that's her..." - Unknown
Go for an emotionally available, high quality man instead of a guy who gives you mixed messages or just wants you for sex. An emotionally available, high quality man sees beyond your physical appearance and connects with you at a deeper level. The deeper connection is what allows you to build a meaningful, loving and lasting relationship. Don’t settle for good enough. Be choosy and be with a man who cherishes and appreciate you.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, and irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” - C.S. Lewis
When it comes to love, most women are afraid of being vulnerable. They associate vulnerability as being weak. If you relate to this, you might feel exposed and not understood when trying to express yourself which can cause you to shut down. Trying to be open from a closed space, is the same as being vulnerable from a place of fear. Fear will continue to keep you feeling exposed and not understood. Break this cycle by sharing your true thoughts and feelings in the moment instead of letting fearful thoughts speak for you. The more vulnerable you are, the more your partner experiences and loves the real you.
Don't Chase Your Ex
“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.” - Khalil Gibran
After a breakup, don’t chase your ex so that he’ll come back to you. Instead of sinking into despair and trying to get him back, adopt the mentality that everything is happening for your greater good, especially love’s difficulties. Reflect on how you contributed to your breakup and make improvements within that support you in getting to the love you desire. If things are meant to be, you won’t have to chase a guy. He will find his way back to you. If he doesn’t come back, it means there is someone else who is better suited for you.
What are your favorite love quotes and what do they mean to you?
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Copyright Love for Successful Women, 2020.