"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anais Nin

Resolution vs. Transformation

We make New Year's resolutions with good intentions, hope and a desire to change so that we can become more of who we want to be.  Since it's difficult to change our habits and behavior, we tend not to follow through.  We also set unrealistic goals and expectations and may not know how to go after what we want. Limiting beliefs can also get in the way. Not having a good support system also keeps us from sticking to our resolutions.

Research shows that almost 50% of the population sets New Year's resolutions each year. 8% always succeed in achieving their resolutions.  19% achieve their resolutions every second year.  49% frequently fail and 24% never achieve any of their resolutions every year. This means that 63% of people almost never succeed.

Good intentions mixed with old habits keep us stuckand repeating the same relationship patterns.  Try transformation only if you're ready to break your cycle.   Transformation only happens when you're ready and willing to do whatever it takes to have the love you desire

Transform Your Love Life

Transformation starts within and is the way to true, positive and lasting change. If you're sick and tired of your results in love, make a New Year's transformation in 2012.

Here are 12 ways to transform your love life.

1. Uncover barrierskeeping you from love and determine ways to workaround them.

2. Take responsibility and then own it.

3. Complete yourself.

4. Meet your own needs.

5. Love yourself fully, the good and self-perceived bad.

6. Align your thoughts, feelings and actions.

7. Define and live your core values.

8. Have a clear vision for the love you desire.

9. Change for the right reasons, for you and not for someone else.

10. Be authentic; speak your voice.

11. Play big, be courageous and patient with yourself.

12. Be grateful for what you have and who you are.

Transformation only requires your desire to change, willingness to fully participate and courage to stay the course.  No one else's cooperation or approval is necessary.  With transformation, you have the power.

Choose one way and start now

Choose one transformation and focus on it.  For instance, if you'd like to begin taking responsibility for your love life, here are a couple of ways to get started:

1. Stop playing the blame game.  Identify what you've been blaming your partners for and look for those traits are in yourself.  For instance, if you tend to become bored in your relationships, where in your life are you a boring person?  How and where can you create the excitement and passion in your own life?

2. You are the common denominator.  Look at the common negative aspects in all of your relationships to see what your contributions have been.  For instance, if you tend to attract men who aren't able to communicate the way that you would like them to, it's likely that you have difficulty expressing yourself.

During this process, you might slip into the tendency of trying to do things perfectly. Perfection is an illusion and puts unnecessary pressure, keeping you stuck.  It keeps you from being open to possibilities, can keep you stuck or derail you from what you set out to accomplish.  Move from perfectionism to an experimental mindset and watch things shift in a positive direction and happen with more ease.

Once you're comfortable with your progress, you can then add on anther aspect to transform.  What is the one transformation you will begin now?