Practical wisdom about dating, courtship, and relationships to improve your love life.
There’s no doubt that problems can drain us, be frustrating, and cause a lot of uncertainty and stress. When we don’t deal with our problems, they end up following us around and even chasing us, as if they’re begging for our attention.
When faced with a problem, the way we deal with it will either take us further away from love or move us closer to love. Further away from love happens when we blame, avoid, are in denial, and let things get worse. Moving closer to love happens when we deal with our problems by taking responsibility for our part of the equation.
What’s in your way is the way
When we’re stuck in a problem, it’s hard to see resolving that problem is part of the journey we’re meant to take. Our first reaction may be to become angry, blame it on the guy we’re seeing, feel sorry for ourselves, distract ourselves by keeping busy, numb ourselves with unhealthy or dangerous substances.
Yet each time you take care of a problem as it happens instead of letting it fester, means removing a roadblock that moves you closer to love. That’s why the problem that’s in your way is the way to the love you desire. And that’s the reason you’re the solution to the love you desire.
Realizing you’re the solution is empowering because what you want is in your hands. You no longer need to feel like love either happens or it doesn’t. You no longer need to feel helpless, as if your fate rests in someone else’s hands. You can shape your destiny.
How to solve your problems effectively
So much of your ability to take care of problems has to do with the way you see yourself, your mindset, and your approach.
The way you see yourself means if you’re a victim or the hero. Victims blame others and look for others to rescue them. When you’re the hero of your love life, you save yourself and get back on track to creating and experiencing healthy love.
Your mindset means if you think you’re capable (or not) of dealing with sticky situations that come your way. This translated to a can (or can’t) attitude. When you take the “can do” approach, you’ll resolve problems with much more ease.
Your approach means if you do vs. try. As Yoda’s famously said, “Do or do not, there is no try.” When you do, you have conviction and are committing fully to your endeavor. When you try, you may half-heartedly try to solve your problem which means you’re not fully committed. This increases the possibility for an undesired outcome.
How two words can make solving problems easier or harder
As a human being, it’s understandable to expect things to go a certain way. When you have a problem to solve, having expectations will cause you to try to control things and keep you attached to the outcome. That keeps the solution that is meant for you (i.e. the lessons you’re meant to learn and growth you’re meant to experience) from coming your way.
That’s why it’s best to let go of expectations and set intentions. Intentions allow you to move through your problems with ease and grace. With intentions, you’re open to what’s meant to be which makes it easier for you to be with whatever happens. This article that goes into more detail about expectations and intentions.
The bottom line
My hope is this article has inspired you to shift your mindset about problems as solutions to the love you desire. In doing so, you’ll build your resiliency to challenges and reframe them as opportunities that will move you closer to love. If you’re facing a problem in love, what approach will you now take to find a solution?
Related Article: The Real Reason to Resolve Issues from Your Past
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Copyright Love for Successful Women, 2020.