The quality of our love is directly tied to the messages we send. These messages stem from our thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions. If our thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions are not congruent, we'll send mixed messages.

Sending mixed instead of clear messages guarantees a love relationship that is not sustainable -- one fraught with frustration, disappointment and a superficial connection.

A mixed message can look like this:

• I really want to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him.  (Thoughts)

• Men don’t respond well to heart-to-heart talks.  (Belief)

• I’m afraid if I express myself fully, he’ll become upset and I’ll get hurt.  (Feelings)

• He asks, “Is everything okay?” You say “Yes”, yet snap at him later while he’s watching TV.  (Action)

Sending mixed messages continually will eventually wear you down, your partner and the relationship.

Here’s what a clear message looks like:

• I really want to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him.  (Thoughts)

• He loves me, cares for my well-being and will be open to what I have to share.  (Belief)

• We'll feel more connected after I express myself fully and show my vulnerability.  (Feelings)

• When he asks, “Is everything okay?” You say “There’s something that’s important for me to share with you.” Then you start sharing openly and without blame.  (Action)

Sending clear messages takes more of a conscious effort and yields better results. In order to send a clear message, set the intention for something good to come from your interaction. Communicate from your heart in a loving and authentic manner. Don’t try to control the outcome -- be detached and let the results happen like they’re supposed to.

The more you practice sending clear messages, the easier it becomes. Try this as an experiment for the next seven days and see what happens. I’d love to hear how this goes for you.