Practical wisdom about dating, courtship, and relationships to improve your love life.
When the man you love seems to be distancing himself, it’s understandable to get caught up in over-analyzing, worrying and stressing about what’s going on and what you should do. Here’s what you should know. This is the time to breathe through things instead of figuring out how to get his attention back.
Give him his space
You might think by giving him his space, you may lose him. Trying to win his attention and affection back when he’s pulling away only puts more pressure on him and yourself. It also increases the possibility of putting more distance between the two of you and him possibly taking advantage of you. Here’s why…
During this time, you will feel confused, uncertain and most likely a bit desperate. Trying to win him back under these conditions won’t let you to shine. And if he is having doubts about you, the energy of desperation that comes from trying to keep his interest, confirms his doubts.
Instead, be still and pay attention to his actions while giving him his space. Don’t read into things, because you may misinterpret what’s really going on. Without pressure, his true intentions will be revealed through what he does. It’s possible that he may have realized how much he loves you – he may be scared, feel overwhelmed and is coming to terms with this. It’s also possible he is thinking of leaving you – if that happens, things weren’t meant to be.
Focus on yourself
During this time, your self-esteem may take a hit. If this happens, work on building your self worth back up and getting to a place where you feel calm during this time of uncertainty. Take care of things you have neglected; explore new interests; and get to a place where you feel okay with uncertainty.
When you feel okay (i.e. no feelings of desperation, no negative energy, etc.), reflect on your relationship with him. Is he really the right guy for you or do you have doubts? If you could design your ideal relationship, is what you have with him truly ideal? Do you feel happy most of the time when you think of him or when you’re together? Or do the times of unhappiness outweigh the moments of happiness? Be honest with yourself as you may find that you may be better off without him.
Let him come back to you
If you believe in your heart that he is the right guy, let him come back to you. Be your best self and respond accordingly. When he experiences the woman he fell for, this eases the doubts he has and may renew his interest. If he makes the effort, there is more desire for him to work through the issues that originally caused him to distance himself. If you’re meant to be together, he will make his way back to you and you won’t have to guess how he feels.
Whatever you do, don’t chase him. You should never have to chase, plead with or beg a guy to come back to you. You are worth much more than that. If he doesn’t realize your value on his own, he doesn’t deserve to be with you.
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Copyright Love for Successful Women, 2020.