Practical wisdom about dating, courtship, and relationships to improve your love life.
“Not knowing how to feed the spirit, we try to muffle its demands in distraction...What matters is that one be for a time inwardly attentive.” - Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea
As a woman, you were probably taught or conditioned to put other people’s needs before your own. If you think that it’s selfish to put yourself before others, you may find yourself focusing a lot on others, filling up your time with busy work, and spending time with friends and family because you don’t want to be alone.
Many women who are so focused on others don’t get to know who they truly are. They don’t tend to look at and know how to address their own issues. And when it comes to love, they tend to attract men who aren’t right for them – men who don’t treat them with love, kindness and respect.
6 Reasons Why It’s Important to be Alone
“I find there is a quality to being alone that is incredibly precious. Life rushes back into the void, richer, more vivid, fuller than before.” - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Being alone can seem scary because when there’s no one to distract you, you’re left with fears, insecurities and unsupportive thoughts. If this is how you view being alone, here is another perspective to consider. Being alone is liberating. It’s the place where you can understand your fears and insecurities and how they’ve been running your love life. Being alone lets you hear how your thoughts have been affecting your love life. It is where youranswers to love reside.
Here’s why it’s so important to be alone.
1. Instead of becoming frustrated and resentful towards the person(s) you been focusing your time, attention and efforts, they get to live their own lives the way they’re meant to and learn their own lessons. And you get to do the same for yourself.
2. Instead of neglecting your own issues, you get to address them and change your life for the better.
3. Instead of losing yourself in your partner, you get to discover who you are and contribute your wonderful self to the relationship.
4. Instead of having your identity wrapped up in someone else, you get to be independent from someone else and function on your own.
5. Instead of living a routine life, you get to expand your comfort zone and discover things about yourself that you never realized.
6. Instead of leading a life of obligation or setting for less than you deserve, you get to live the life you’re meant to and enjoy the rest of the days of your life.
6 Ways to Be Alone
“Women need solitude in order to find again the true essence of themselves.” - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Are you feeling stressed out about life and love because you’re doing too much for others or you don’t know how to enjoy being alone? If so, put these 6 practices into your life to feel better about yourself and have a healthier love life.
1. Participate in creative activities Discover and do at least one creative activity on your own. For instance, if you like to write, draw or paint, start doing these things.
2. Reflect on your inner self Reflect and ponder on questions like, “What are my beliefs? Why do I feel that way about these beliefs?” “Who would I be without my possessions?” “Where would I love to travel and why?” “What inspires me?”
3. Learn something new If you’ve always wanted to learn pilates, how to cook, speak Italian, or play the piano, take classes and learn something new.
4. Take yourself out on a date Go on a date by yourself to a museum you love, movie you want to see, restaurant you’ve always wanted to eat at or a place you’ve always wanted to go to.
5. Spend time outside Walk in nature, go on a hike, enjoy the sound of the ocean, the sand between your toes, the smell of the fresh air in the mountains, etc.
6. Have a weekend alone Turn off your electronic and communication devices (i.e. TV, computer, tablet, cell phone). Music is optional. Catch up on reading your favorite books and magazines.
In addition to these 6 ways on being alone, this beautifully-produced video, How to Be Alone, has a plethora of suggestions on being alone.
“Woman must come of age by herself. She must find her true center alone.” - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
It is actually thoughtful, not selfish, to put yourself before others because in doing so, you become the best version of you. When you are at your best, you are able to give your best to others. Everyone around you benefits from you putting yourself first.
Remember, when you are alone with no distractions from getting to know your true self, you get to learn, appreciate and love yourself. The more you know how to be alone and enjoy your alone time, your beautiful essence will draw towards you, men who are loving, kind and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
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Copyright Love for Successful Women, 2020.