A smart woman learns to take the initiative in her professional life, like leading and facilitating team members to complete projects on time, calling meetings to discuss strategy and next steps, and managing multiple priorities. The contributions a smart woman makes to the success of her company often leads to promotions of greater responsibility. If you’re used to taking the initiative in your career, you may have noticed that this approach doesn’t work as well when it comes to dating and romantic relationships.

Why Initiating Doesn’t Work with a Masculine Man

Masculine men love strong women who know when and how to be feminine. Initiating is very much like pursuing, which is a masculine trait. If you’re the one who is constantly calling and texting him, asking when you’ll see him again, making suggestions to go out with him, etc., you’re pursuing him.

A masculine man wants to pursue you on his time. Sometimes when you like a man, you might feel the need to rush things. A man needs space to think about you and miss you. If he is really into you, he won’t let much time pass before contacting you. He’ll call and text you in between dates, make plans in advance to spend time with you, talk about the future with you and introduce you to family and friends.

(Note: Here is another form of initiating. Don’t constantly turn down his ideas and suggestions, and push your agenda. This makes him feel like he’s in a power struggle. When this happens too often, a high quality man won’t stick around. He will seek a woman who doesn’t seem to be as controlling and strong willed.)

Three Reasons Why Responding is Empowering

If you want to be successful in your love life, learn to respond instead of initiating. Responding is like taking a wait-and-see approach, which may seem very passive, like you’re doing nothing. However, it’s actually more empowering. Here are 3 reasons why.

1. See things more clearly

When you respond, you get to see what’s really going on. You see things more clearly for what they are because you’re not trying to manipulate the situation (i.e. thinking of ways to get him to call you, putting yourself in places where you think he might be so that you can run into him, etc.).

2. Learn a man’s true intentions

You learn a man’s true intentions and interest by how he initiates or doesn’t. If he initiates by continuing to ask you out and you respond with “I’d love to”, you know that he is truly interested in you. If you initiate, it makes it harder to know if he’s really interested in you or if he’s hanging out with you because he doesn't have anything better going on.

3. Experience your journey to love with more ease

Since responding helps you see things more clearly, things become more black and white, not grey. Your mind isn’t jumping through hoops trying to figure out what’s going on, whether he’s interested or not, if you sounded too pushy in your message, etc. You free up your mind to enjoy the journey to love with ease.

Three Healthy Ways to Respond

Now that you have a better understanding of the benefits of responding, here are 3 ways to put this into practice in your love life.

1. Let yourself be wooed.

Instead of rushing things by revealing too much of yourself too soon, behaving and acting in ways you think will please him and having premature sex, take the time to get to know each other. Make sure you trust him and that there is a good mind, body and soul connection.

2. Be clear on what you want.

Determine and live by what’s most important to you, what you're willing to settle and not settle for and your core values. Whenever he initiates and you have a choice to make, you’ll be able to respond from clarity instead of being misled by an over-thinking mind.

3. Trust in the outcome.

When you respond, you are open to what is and what will be. You’re letting go and letting the Universe (God or higher power) bring you what you’re supposed to have and who you’re supposed to be with. Being open and trusting in the outcome will bring you a greater love than you could have imagined.

Take the responsive approach to love and positively transform your love life. If you want to learn more about responding, watch this short video.

What is something you can start doing to respond in your love life?